Family jokes
A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
What's an orphan's least favorite game?
Baseball because they can't find home plate.
Everyone likes orphans but their parents.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
Memes
What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?
"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."
My dad and I were fishing one day.
That’s where he met my stepmom.
Me: Mom, the weight scale wants your weight, not your phone number!
Roses are red, my mental health is blue, Karen got no mom like you.
What is the difference between an orphan and a TV?
One has more channels.
If I was any more inbred, I'd be a sandwich.
God: You're gonna have 2 parents.
Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.
What's the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?
Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.
I know an orphan named Zara, and he has never had homemade food.
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?
Father-in-law.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a leaf? Only one falls down the family tree.
Why do orphans kill people so they can finally be wanted?
Why did the orphan get kicked off the baseball team?
He would never make it home base.
You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.