Family jokes
The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true.
How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.
I farted in my grandma's breathing machine.
Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.
What do you call an orphan being kidnapped?
A surprise adoption!!
When you have sex with a coworker but remember it's a family business.
At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become.
On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again.
“Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.
Where does an orphan come from?
Daddy getting milk.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Today is sad. My sister got hit by a car, and I lost my license as a driver.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
Apples get picked.
Why did the Orphan go to church?
To call someone father.
Why can’t you kidnap an orphan?
Because you can’t steal what was never wanted in the first place.
Two girls have a sleepover.
Karen: Let's go to bed.
Lauren: Fine, but it's early.
*Karen wakes up and exits room*
*Lauren hears noise*
Mikey: You're so much better than my girlfriend, Karen.
Lauren: *laughs*
Lauren: *remembers her boyfriend is Karen's brother, Mikey*
One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”
Orphans always dip their Oreos in water, hoping their dad comes back with the milk.
How do you know your sister is on her period? Your dad's c**k tastes like s**t!
Why can't orphans be gay? They don't have a closet to come from.
Why are orphans good at dodgeball?
They can dodge adoptions.
Q. What does Kenny get when he hugs his mom?
A. A boner.