Family jokes
My mom told me to get dressed, and I said, "For what? Are we going to the rodeo?"
What did the chancla say to the belt?
"It's time."
What do you call your angry French aunt?
A crossaunt.
Welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make 'em, we take 'em!
What did the orphan say to his mom?
Where are you?
How are Tinder and orphans alike?
You swipe left till you find the one you like.
What did the brother say to the other brother? "You are brother, brother."
What does an orphan do on school parents' day? Nothing.
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.
Why can’t orphans win trophies?
Because they can’t take them home.
Why can’t orphans win trophies?
Because they can’t take them home.
Depression hits harder than my dad.
The only people who do yo mama jokes wish they had a mom.
Me: When I saw an orphan on the street in rags.
Also me: Are you okay?
Orphan: Yeah, what gave it away?
Me: Because you have no family.
When I was watching my daughter at the park earlier, another parent asked a man, "Which one is yours?" and he replied, "I'm still choosing." She looked horrified.
What's the difference between an orphan and a dog?
A dog gets adopted.
Why did Mom cross the road?
To kill you!
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Why did the orphan say, "Help?" He needed his brother.
Why didn't the pirate write a letter to his mom?
Are you kidding me?!?