How come yo mama did not come straight home from work last night? Because her daughter had sex with her boyfriend and got drunk.
Family Jokes
Why do orphans play baseball because they try to find home?
The lasagna I just cooked is for me, my friends, and family. You don't get none because your name is not on the list. You wanna know why? 'Cause you got the whole place smelling like catdog and ass.
Why can't orphans go to school? They can't attend parent-teacher conferences.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
What is the difference between your girlfriend and your sister?
They're both "sweet home Alabama."
Roses are red, I like burgers on a bun.
This news: family neuters furry son.
I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't have a home.
What's the difference between cancer and my dad?
Cancer is still here. 😂😂😅😅😐😐😪😪😥😥😭😭
Bubba couldn't make rent, so he offered to sleep with the landlady instead.
I think he forgot he lived in his mom's basement.
You: Knock knock. Other person: Who is there? You: Not your parents.
The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.
My grandpa and your hairline go way back.
Before my grandad died, he whispered to me, "Is your uncle still in the basement?" I said he has died. Oh, my grandad said, "I will lock him in heaven's basement."
My brother got his legs chopped off, but someone FBI opened my basement door, but it wasn't my brother because he died of starvation in the basement.
My brother went missing 5 years ago. He also supported TRUMP. He is currently dead in my basement in a chest in a cupboard.
Why did Ama cross the road?
To find his dad.
What’s fat, brown, and has no dad?
Ama
I started crying when my dad was chopping onions.
Onions was such a good dog!
