Family

Family jokes

My teacher said he is gonna call my dad, I can't wait to meet him! 🥰🥰🥰

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  • Why can't orphans go to a school field trip?

    Because he needs the parent's signature.

    Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.

    Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.

    You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.

    What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

    "I hate when people make 9/11 jokes because my grandfather died during the Twin Tower attacks. He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia."

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  • Why did my mother buy me a Honda? She knows I can't move, so she pushed my wheelchair with me in it into the ocean. I survived just by a second, but a shark got my wheelchair, fucking bitch.

    My mom told me to get dressed, and I said, "For what? Are we going to the rodeo?"