Family jokes
What's the difference between me and an old man? No one pulled my life support.
There are 2 dads and 2 sons. They all caught a fish.
Why did they only come home with 3 fish?
(Answer)
There were a grand-dad, dad, and son.
If you don't get it, then it means grand father is the dad to the dad (1 dad). Dad is the dad for the son and a son for the grandfather. Get it?
So, on one partly cloudy night, there was a boy and his dad gazing up at the sky.
Dad: Aren't the stars just wonderful?
Boy: I'm not sure, from my angle, all I see are clouds.
Dad: Well, come over here and take a look.
Boy: Damn, the clouds always move when I get to the right spot!
Dad: Well then, I guess I will have to make you see them everywhere you look then.
Then the Dad shook and spun the boy around till he said...
NOW I'M SEEING STARS!!!
Why does an orphan play GTA to be wanted? 😂😭
Me: "Comment if you love yourself and give me a reason."
Friends: comments give reason.
Me: "Notice how I commented nothing."
Day later:
Mom: Let me see your TikTok.
Me: Shows her the video.
Mom: calls suicide.
JK, she just beat me for posting a video on her.
Your sister is so ugly, she made Hello Kitty say goodbye.
Imagine not having parents. Lol.
I saw a kid crying today and asked them, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working at an orphanage!
A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"
She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.
The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."
Your nan is gay.
din mamma
What are the similarities between an orphan and a newborn plant?
Both their parents were separated.
Why can’t orphans f*ck their mom?
Because they don’t have one.
Why did Sally die? She got stabbed by her mum.
Q: Why does an orphan do badly at Baseball?
A: Because they can't find home.
Ur Granny, tranny.
Ur Dad, lesbian.
Ur Mom, gay.
Why have kids? Just go get one now, no nine-month delay.
Little Johnny's father says if them boys say another bad word, I'm going to whoop them, and Little Johnny's brother says, "I'd like some fucking food," and he whooped him, and Little Johnny says, "He would. I'd like some food. At least I didn't—I'd like some fucking food. Bye."
Why did the orphan go outside the school?
Answer: Because it was take your parents to school day.
What's an orphan's least favorite day? Take your kid to work day.