I was in a wheelchair for a few weeks last month. I went through a super traumatic experience, and I *wheely* hope I made a good *roll* mod
Friend: did your tattoos hurt Me: nah not really Friend: What did they feel like Me: 7th grade Friend:πΆπΆπ¨π°π°π°π¨
It's better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? Happiness never lasts forever.
It was a important knockout game for Al Nassr π₯ I came to Riyad to see my idol Cristiano Ronaldo play, It was my dream for a long time π€© I took a cab to the stadium but the driver dropped me off at a haunted house instead π As soon as I entered the house I saw a ghostβ οΈ but the very next moment I realized its my idolo Ronaldo π₯³ Thank you Ronaldo for meeting me πβ₯οΈ
Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?
A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood
I banged a German chick one time. I tried anal and asked her to rate the experience. She kept yelling "9! 9! 9!"
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake everyday. He had no hands or no legs. One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay.
He replied, "No." The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?" The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever." So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked. "No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before." T he woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?" The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
I had a terrifying experience last night. I was alone in the house having a bath... when all of a sudden... I felt a tap on my shoulder.
There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest. On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesnt experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place." So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his Re-seeding Heirline.
one day in roblox someone was arguing with me and they asked me my age. 18. they said that they were twenty two. Me: if your so smart, whats the largest daycare game on roblox? Him:Yo Hair. he said. then he left the game. and a said that is so messed up. actually that bullcrap.
My math teacher asked me what a liked term was I told her I couldn't say never experienced it.
isn't having Depersonalization mean that you like the animatronics off of fnaf/five night of freddies (if you don't know what Depersonalization is look it up)
Why do more men than women support abortion? So they can keep raping women and the victims will just abort their kids to not have to relive the experience!
The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!
*School shooting happens.*
Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk.*
American student: "First time?"
Foreign exchange student: "Yeah, you?"
American student: "Hahaha. No, not my first time."
The Good Old Days > You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says experied.
I tried phone sex once. But the holes were too small.
1. Full name: John 2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run. 3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream. 4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated. 5. Mental health: mentally retarded. 6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit. 7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named as Redwing and the lizard named as Notail 8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock. 9. Working motivation: none.
I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John
i raped a dog. When asked how her experience was, she said ruff
