Experience

Experience Jokes

A 10y.o. : I don't want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn't think I'm happy 24/7. A 10y.o. week later: Damn... my life is shitty...

<2y. later> 12y.o. : What is de-pre-ssion? *googles it*

Now 14y.o. : Oh...

“One silent evening, a man walks to his fridge to get some food. He sets out a fork and napkin on the table. He reaches to grab a salad topped with olives and cheese. He sets the food down on the table and begins to add tomatoes, condiments, and...“ He is interrupted. “Why are you saying this aloud?” A young boy asks his father. The father replies with, “You wanted to know how to live on your own. But I guess experience is more helpful,” he says as he rushes the child out of the front door.

There was (1) girl. She met (+5000) guys. She had sex with each of them (x7). She became... - flip screen (=).

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My friend had this annoying little kid that always used to yell and scream when he didn't get what he wanted. I told me friend there's a new attraction a few states away he could take him too. Confused my friend asked me what it was. I told him "The Sandyhook Experience: Where you come in and leave with a 'hole' lot of fun."

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three scientists are doing an experiment, they are trying to find out what happens when you stick a cork in an elephants ass. in the lab they each look at each other and decide that they should hire a monkey to do it. the monkey sticks the cork up the elephant's ass and the scientists wait three weeks.

the monkey pulls out the cork and all three scientists go back and discus what they saw. the first one, standing one mile away, says all he could see was a wave of brown then it all went black, the second, standing two miles away, said the same, the third, who was standing three miles away, said all he could see was the other two get consumed by a massive cloud of brown.

I went scuba diving last year. It was fun but at the end I ran out of oxygen. It was a breathtaking experience.

A man and a woman get married. The woman was Retired hooker. The man was a poet. The man said as they did 69, you taste better than my most delecious gormet meal. The woman said, well you aren’t too bad either. But the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop. They dot divorced that night.

I had a horrible nightmare yesterday. I was in a room filled with all of my ex's, so I was completely alone.

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