Interviewer: What are your strengths?
Interviewee: I fall in love easily.
Interviewer: And your weaknesses?
Interviewee: Those beautiful green eyes of yours...
Experience Jokes
TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.
Have you ever heard of sex? Because you just got fucked.
Why does Little Johnny hate hot dogs?
It reminds him of last night.
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.
Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
Why are Germans so good at cleaning?
They have experience in ethnic cleansing.
I hate my life.
Dark humor is like life:
Not everyone gets it.
EXPERIMENT SUCCESSFUL 😱😱 Scientists have created an element named Pessomium 😳😳
Characteristics: - Highly reactive only in Bolivia and Panama 😡🤬 - Turns invisible when in Brazil or Uruguay 🥵🤧 - Finished 😹🤕 - 0 protons 0 electrons 0 goals 0 assists 7 debuts 🥶
Dark humor is like parents, not everybody gets it.
Life is like a film; it goes on, but you can cut at any time.
A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."
You know how sometimes you want to listen to music?
But everything you listen to is just supremely unsatisfying, even if it's songs you usually love; they are just so unappealing, and you have no idea what you actually want to listen to.
Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."
One time my receipt broke before I even got to my truck.
Everyone makes mistakes. Just ask your parents.
I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.
I have tried coke; it is not my cup of tea.
Why did the orphan commit crimes? To know what it's like to be wanted.
Little Johnny tried phone sex, but the holes were too small.
