Everyone jokes
Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?
Kid: AK!
Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻
What do a blonde and a doorknob have in common?
Everyone gets a turn ;)
Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. Not everyone gets it.
My sister reminds me of 911: one moan of "OMG" got everyone's attention.
Hello everyone, now a question to make it in there is no right or wrong answer, but who here has watched fireb0rn??
Your entire family tree must be a cactus, because everyone in your family is such a prick.
Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?
Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.
Why are orphans so famous for their jokes?
Because everyone says go big or go home!
Everyone else seems to have met my dad. I only have the mugshots.
When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"
A phone is like parents. Not everyone has one.
A rich girl is flying on his helicopter when suddenly it crashes, killing everyone. What was the last thing that went through her head?
The helicopter blade!
Everyone says Kenny has an easy life.
I disagree. I hear his mom likes complicated sex positions.
Hitler walks into his meeting room, turns to his trusted staff, and says, “I want you to organize the execution of 10,000 Jews and one kitten.”
Everyone looks around the table and, after a long silence, Goering pipes up. “Mein Fuhrer, why do you want to kill a kitten?”
Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table. “You see, no one cares about the Jews.”
You got a black cat.
He was bad luck.
Everyone left you and you committed suicide.
What a CATastrophe!
Remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye.
But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses it...
(everyone on Titanic) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, the ship will sink!!!!
(person washing hands) I'm using the sink, wait your turn!!!!!
(all crew members laugh) Hahahhahahahahah.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice? Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.