Everyone Jokes

what kind of mountain does everyone like? mountain dew!!! hahah

a man walks up to lil johnny one day and asks if you had one wish but that wish will be granted to everyone on earth so the lil johnny thinks real hard and long then said well i would wish for me to shit my self and the man is shocked and asks why and lil johnny reply's well i would be on the toilet i thing everyone else would just be confused

The boy ran in to the gym why?

Becouse he wanted to ketch-up with everyone also he he got pun-ish from his momster

Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID. Son (in a happy tone): I know. Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad? Son: Well yesterday you told me to spread positivity.

Dating a striper is like eating a bag of chips in class.

Everyone looks at you in disgust. But deep down inside they want some too.

I turned off all the beeping machines in the hospital. I love the peace and quiet, but I don't know why everyone is sleeping cause it's only 8 am

Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.

This year my friends wanted to dress up as crayons for Halloween. They asked me if I wanted to be a tan crayon. I didn’t want to, but I said yes to be nice. I wish I had said no, because now I look like a dick to everyone else.

Most people are scared of clowns. That's why everyone runs away from you.

An unfortunate accident happend at the nestlè factory,a man nammed joe was seriously injourd because a box of choclates fell on him. Every time he said "The choclates are on me!" every one cheerid.

Thank you for reading if you use this on another catagory please give me credit by saying my name at the end. P.s my name is None of your buissnes. Seriously.

Everyone loves orphans,

other than their parents of course.

So I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company. Everyone is mad but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.

The bible says to love your neighbors as you love yourself. So I treat everyone like garbage

When I get suicidal everyone worrys I don't know why becasue that is when I'm the happpiest thinking about death

Why are people mass buying toilet paper because of the coronavirus?

When someone sneezes, everyone shits their pants.

This is NOT my joke i found it on google its a texting joke Mom:Son youre grandma just passed away LOL Son:mom what do you mean LOL that means laughing out loud Mom:oh no i thought that meant lots of love i have to text everyone back!!!!

everyone: so wait let me get this straight feminist want to cancel fathers day because it is offensive to single mothers

feminist: correct

everyone: THEN WTF IS THE POINT OF MOTHERS DAY

It's funny that everyone is depressed like I mean Bullys are depressed Nerds are depressed Bad girls/boys are depressed Kind humans are depressed

My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I'll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.