I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
Why is Death the world's biggest slut?
Death gets to f*** everyone.
What is the difference between Harry Houdini and everyone else in my life? Harry was the only person not to disappear.
POV: 11:07 PM At night, reading these when you notice that, like everyone else, you have no life.
When you donate a kidney, you are a total hero, everyone loves you.
When you donate five kidneys though, people start yelling, the police gets called--sheesh!
I’m not calling you a slut, I’m calling you a penny.
Two-faced, worthless, and in everyone’s pants!
Yo mama so fat when she sits down, she sits next to everyone!
Yo mama so fat that when she went into a crowd wearing a blue shirt, everyone yelled, "Tsunami!"
Everyone is able to be stupid, but you're just abusing the privilege.
A girl in my class started barking, and I yelled out, "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her, and I felt bad. After school, I asked to drive her home, and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one, I yelled, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car.
Dark humor and women are very similar...
Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.
God created everyone unique till he got to Asia, then it just went to copy paste, copy paste.
When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
Yo mama so fat that when she tried to get on the train, it said, "Weight limit passed, everyone get off!"
Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.”
Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.
Kenya, if you keep smiling then you will become a positive bitchy!
Tenya, everyone hates you why I have no idea!
Kenya stop smiling and start dying!
Tenya, why are you so mean!
Kenya, stop acting like a mantrapp!
Tenya, stop being a bitch in a skirt!
Please leave a comment good or bad! cusswords whatever!
A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"
She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.
The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."
If Jesus told you to trust everyone, that must be why there are a lot of kidnappings.
