POV: 11:07 PM At night, reading these when you notice that, like everyone else, you have no life.
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
Yo mama so fat when she sits down, she sits next to everyone!
Hi everyone, today I am taking requests for anything you want me to say.
Yo mama so fat that when she went into a crowd wearing a blue shirt, everyone yelled, "Tsunami!"
Everyone is able to be stupid, but you're just abusing the privilege.
Why is Death the world's biggest slut?
Death gets to f*** everyone.
I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.
He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.
When you donate a kidney, you are a total hero, everyone loves you.
When you donate five kidneys though, people start yelling, the police gets called--sheesh!
A girl in my class started barking, and I yelled out, "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her, and I felt bad. After school, I asked to drive her home, and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one, I yelled, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car.
Dark humor and women are very similar...
Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"
Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...
Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT.
Yo mama so fat that when she tried to get on the train, it said, "Weight limit passed, everyone get off!"
Why does everyone get offended at female firefighters?
Like seriously, if your house is on fire and burning, you wouldn't really care if the person saving you had a low IQ, right?
Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.”
Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.
Kenya, if you keep smiling then you will become a positive bitchy!
Tenya, everyone hates you why I have no idea!
Kenya stop smiling and start dying!
Tenya, why are you so mean!
Kenya, stop acting like a mantrapp!
Tenya, stop being a bitch in a skirt!
Please leave a comment good or bad! cusswords whatever!
