Everyone jokes

Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"

The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.

Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."

Hello everyone, I would just like to apologize for participating in the protest and everything else I said. I was wrong and have recently found a way to see all these jokes as funny. I hope that you all can forgive me. ALYA

I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.

Some jokes are best left not harassed by those who are offended by them.

For I have everyone's IP address.

I barged into a Halloween party at my school with my air-soft AR-15!

I was so scary, EVERYONE ran away!

Yesterday I went to a party at my friend’s house. Everyone was dressed as birthday candles. It was a blowout.

Everyone: "Look, it's Superman!"

Me: "No, it's an emo."

Everyone: "Oh."

One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂

You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.

Everyone makes mistakes. Like my mom, she made a mistake 13 years ago.

For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:

Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."

Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."

Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."

Anyone want a free pizza? Because you liking a pizza with toppings that not many people enjoy allows you to eat the entire guilt free pizza, that they said they didn't want and everyone already offered you a slice of.

Everyone makes mistakes. Just ask your parents.

Ok, everyone on this website... I HAVE NO BROTHERS OR SISTERS. The person who claims he's my "brother" is firesharky. He is trying to get fame. Never listen to him. He will lie and trick you to think I have a brother, but I don't.

I wanted to put this up so I could say goodbye to everyone that I chatted with, like Gwen or MEG... So, yea, see you next year after Friday.

Hey, how is everyone today? Cause I am feeling great!

What do you get when you cross a turkey and a centipede?

Drumsticks for everyone!

Everyone, just as a warning, stay AWAY from Akeld!

Why would doors do well on social media?

Everyone looks for their handles.

When a woman is something weeks or months pregnant and her stomach has a visible bump, everyone rubs her tummy, but no one tickles the husband's balls and says, "Good job, buddy!"