Every jokes

If I had two nickels every time PETA parodied a game, I'd have 14.

You're so fat, every time you go in the elevator, it goes down.

Global warming will kill every single person on this planet.

It's a good thing I'm married.

My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.

When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.

Your hairline is so far back that it made every country on earth disappear.

I went to the store because I had to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because I was playing Mario Kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma, like if you cry every time.

What does every arsehole and Tory have in common?

They all produce horrible shit.

If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d still only have five cents.

You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."

Hey guys, starting tomorrow, I will put one letter of the "doin your mom" song every day. Can I finish the song?

Also, I might be in Fortnite, hehehehehe.

There's a plane crash. Every single person died.

Who lived? The married people!

The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.

In England, for every church, there are two pubs.

In Poland, for every pub, there are two churches.

Every time my cousin and I, we settle it out with our game, so we play rock paper scissors. 😂🤣🤣

Mom: Do I look fat in my dress?

Child: Nah... you look fat in every dress!

What's every elderly person's spirit animal? The blue tang fish.

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Why is it that every time I masturbate, things get out of hand?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your presence, my love, Every moment feels new.

I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.

The best part? She don't talk back.