Every Time Jokes

guy: Say "I'm a man" every time I stop. person: guy: you walk into a bar. person: I'm a man guy:you meet a girl person: I'm a man guy:you and the girl go to a hotel\ person: I'm a man guy:you guys go on a bed person: I'm a man. guy:she whispers into your ear person:I'm a man

Why don’t Chinese people model because it would look like the same model every time

An unfortunate accident happend at the nestlè factory,a man nammed joe was seriously injourd because a box of choclates fell on him. Every time he said "The choclates are on me!" every one cheerid.

Thank you for reading if you use this on another catagory please give me credit by saying my name at the end. P.s my name is None of your buissnes. Seriously.

Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.” Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”

1. If being ugly was a crime you would have a life sentence

2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships

3. There is a tree out there giving you oxegyn, and you owe that tree an apology.

4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.

5. When I saw your dad on the side walk I didn’t laugh but the sidewalk cracked up.

6. If I had powers I would make you the dumbest person alive but it seems life already beat me to the punch.

7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it

8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart I’d be broke.

9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting

10. Were you born on a highway cuz that’s where most accidents happen

11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya

12. Your the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented

Me:Help I'm stuck in a trap Friend:What kind? Me:It's called life, yeah I've been trying to get out of it for 6 years now, it just won't let me go. Friend:That's not funny.. Me:Yeah? Nor is wanting to die, yet I'm still over here laughing every time I try to. Friend:I'm calling your mom. Me:She knows. Friend:Whats she doing to help, then? Me:She's supposed to help? Friend:Have you told your dad? Me:I will when he comes back. Friend:Where is he? Me:I don't know he's been gone for 15 years. Friend:.... Me:What? Friend:Why? Me:Why what? Friend:Why would you joke like that? Me:I was joking.. Friend:I know. Me:Oh. I didn't know. Friend:... Me:Have a nice day, I'll see you tomorrow..Maybe..

Why do Black people not like country music? Because every time they hear hoedown, they think their sister got shot

if i had a dollar for every time you said something smart id be broke

are you a red light because i stop every time i see you

I must have at least 87 years of bad luck, every time I look in the mirror, it breaks!

Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her? I really hit the mother lode with you.

Why can't Indians play baseball bc every time they hit a corner they open a shop

My family is lucky I was born so smart, every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.

Every time a midget runs on the grass, the grass tickles their balls.

I said to the emo girl she gets jealous every time her phone dies.

This kid was crying so I asked him where his parents where. He just cried harder. I still remember him every time I pass that orphanage.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

If I had a coin for every time someone said "If I had a coin" I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.

“Don’t sneeze”

Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends I would always tell them “Don’t sneeze” and when I did they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed we laughed even harder.

Also,

“It dangles and swung” Language art quizzes are the best