Every time I go to the store I look in the deodorant section and my dyslexia acts up. Instead of "antiperspirant," I read "antidepressant." At least I get a bunch of extra snacks out of my shopping mistakes
Your hairline is like a lollipop because every time someone licks it it gets shorter
If I had a dime for every time I heard someone say that F was the villain (alphabet lore) I would be Rich
Why can’t the anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke? : because every time she sang the line “fire away” some one starting shooting!
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without there mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I relise, that I can see all there face!
True story by the way
Every time someone calls you you a little different car? Just say no I’m not
I named my refridgerator Oicurmt, because every time I look in, I say O I C, U R MT.
You mom as so fat every time she turns around its her birthday
Every time my cousin and i we settle it out with our game a so we play rock paper sissors 😂🤣🤣
Your so fat every time you go in the elevator it goes down
if I had 2 nickels every time PETA parody'd a game, i'd have 14.
If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d still only have five cents
The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.
I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that
What’s red, nine inches long , and makes my girlfriend cry every time she sees it?
Her abortion
Roses are red the grass is greener every time I think of you I play with my weenier
If I had a dollar for every time someone did something stupid, I would have approximately 7.8 Billion dollars.
If Emma feel had a penny every time someone gave her header she she would have enough to make Mark Zuckerberg and trump her third legged bitch.
Why are Muslims terrible at football ? •because every time they have a corner they build a shop
guy: Say "I'm a man" every time I stop. person: guy: you walk into a bar. person: I'm a man guy:you meet a girl person: I'm a man guy:you and the girl go to a hotel\ person: I'm a man guy:you guys go on a bed person: I'm a man. guy:she whispers into your ear person:I'm a man
