Every Time jokes

Why can't Indians play baseball? Because every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.

If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.

My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.

I must have at least 87 years of bad luck; every time I look in the mirror, it breaks!

Are you a red light? Because I stop every time I see you.

What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?

A margarita hits the spot every time.

Why do Black people not like country music?

Because every time they hear "hoedown," they think their sister got shot.

So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"

Every time a midget runs on the grass, the grass tickles their balls.

This kid was crying, so I asked him where his parents were. He just cried harder. I still remember him every time I pass that orphanage.

I said to the emo girl, "She gets jealous every time her phone dies."

What kind of shit does a ghost take every time? A spooky dookie!

I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...

Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...

I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...

When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.

If I had a coin for every time someone said, "If I had a coin," I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.

"Don't sneeze!"

Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.

Also,

"It dangles and swung!"

Language art quizzes are the best.

Why don't Indians play baseball?

Every time they reach a corner, they make a shop.

You ever try sexting with AI? Every time I type “I’m coming,” it replies, “Coming where? Need directions?”

Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.

Why is the cheetah so bad at hide-n-seek? Because every time she hides, she will always [be] spotted.

Hey, fatboy, why are you so damn fat?

Because every time I f*** your mom, she gives me a cookie.