My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.
If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.
Why do Black people not like country music?
Because every time they hear "hoedown," they think their sister got shot.
Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?
I really hit the mother lode with you!
Kenny is a comfort snacker.
Every time he's stressed, he eats his mom's pussy.
"Don't sneeze!"
Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.
Also,
"It dangles and swung!"
Language art quizzes are the best.
If I had a coin for every time someone said, "If I had a coin," I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.
I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...
Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...
I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...
When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.
I said to the emo girl she gets jealous every time her phone dies.
This kid was crying, so I asked him where his parents were. He just cried harder. I still remember him every time I pass that orphanage.
Every time a midget runs on the grass, the grass tickles their balls.
Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.
Why is the cheetah so bad at hide-n-seek? Because every time she hides, she will always [be] spotted.
Why aren’t Indian Pakistanis allowed in the World Cup of baseball?
Every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.
If I had a genie grant me wishes, I wouldn't wish for a million pounds. I'd just wish that every time I buy something I just have the right amount of money in my pocket at the time.
Patient: Doctor, every time I look in a mirror, I feel ill, as if I'm about to throw up. What's wrong with me?
Doctor: I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect.
You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.
My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?
Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!
That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.
We were so poor that every time I passed by a butcher shop, I thought there had been a horrible accident.
So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"
