Every Time jokes
Yo mama so fat that every time she takes a swim, the Arctic sinks by a mile!
If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d still only have five cents.
Yo mama so fat, every time she measures her carbon footprint the website breaks.
Why is it that every time I masturbate, things get out of hand?
Yo mama so fat...
That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!
Every time French people greet me, they say "banjo."
Nga, I don't got no fucking banjo.
Every time I come straight home from work, you're in the bed asleep and back there dead like a vampire in a casket.
Then the next thing I noticed, you just came back from the dead in no time, dummy.
This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.
I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...
Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...
I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...
When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.
You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."
I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom, I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that!
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they get a corner, they open up a shop.
You're so poor, you use the same toilet paper every time you take a poop!
You're so ugly whenever you say hi, people walk away and say that you were too ugly, and they go take a bath right away because you're so stinky.
They say that you look like your mama. Wait, your mama must be just like you because I can see her way from a mile!
You say you put on perfume, but every time I smell you, you smell like poo-poo. You're so ugly that when your mom looks in the mirror, you cry. You're so stupid the second-grade teacher had to tell you to go all the way to kindergarten. Head Start is every grade below you. You can't even go to the 20th grade, which stands for 9th grade. You can't even go to grocery stores, and people that tell you that you're so ugly give you compliments just to make you feel better. You know that everybody just likes you just because they just don't want to hurt your feelings, so just stay in your mind. Hey, you want to text Matt; you know it was you because every time you see you, you think that you matter. Matter fact, he doesn't even like you; he just wants your money girl. Who even likes you? 😈😈
Why are orphans so sad?
Because every time they swallow, they think... "You should have Mom."
Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?
Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.
Why’s BBC called BBC?
The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!
True story by the way.
If Emma Feel had a penny every time someone gave her head, she would have enough to make Mark Zuckerberg and Trump her third-legged bitch.
I swear every time I walk past a guy, they stare at my ass. I always keep wondering why it hurts so much.