I think my coworkers are gay. -- Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."
Me and a person downtown.
Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.
Me: I guess so.
Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?
Me: I don't know. I used too, but don't anymore.
Person: why'd you stop?
Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.
My town's population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.
Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
I would roast you, but your mirror does every time you look into it.
Why don’t emo girls go to self checkout
Because every time they scan it scans twice.
Why can’t Indians play football...... cause every time they take a corner they make a shop
Why don't Indians play soccer? -Coz every time they get a corner, they build a shop on it.
are you a camera? because every time I look at you I smile
My ex still misses me... But her aim is getting better every time!
Gow do you keep tour friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
Alabama. Every time there's a family reunion a baby is born 9 months later.
Your probably getting tired of these gravity jokes... but I keep falling for them every time
I’m trying to find out what IDK means. Every time I ask someone they say I Don’t Know
I won't reply on every jokes today because I want to say thanks (to everyone) for making funny jokes here... Every time I have a bad day (almost everyday), I always go here and read relatable jokes, its makes me happy and its making me less anxious. I am really stressed on my school works and everything, I feel that I'm being left alone. Everyone compares me to others and all I can do is listen. I don't get enough sleep because of it... Reading these jokes entertain me and making me laugh so hard. *I apologize for my grammar
I CAN MAKE 9/11 JOKES BUT EVERY TIME I DO THEY CRASH AND BURN
What does the Gay Garlic do when it gets hot? It takes it's CLOVES off 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Like if you LOL every time 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
You know every time we think of sex an angel dies.
We ran out of dead people hundreds of years ago.
I love ❤️ taking my daughter out in the car 🚙 every time we go over a speed bump I tell her we ran over another dog 🐕😂
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off." Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom? The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf." "Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way," said the nun. So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. ! She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?" "No thank you, but, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.
Now, how about that drink?"
