Event jokes
How does NASA organize a party? -- They planet.
There is gonna be a huge party at the orphanage tonight because the parents ain't home.
I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a muscle.
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her on Halloween.
The Titanic basically nominated all the passengers for the ice bucket challenge.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Thanos snapped.
I usually don't make 9/11 jokes, but they just are fire.
Why is 10 so sad? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
What do you call field day in Africa?
The Hunger Games.
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims because they went through 80 stories in 10 seconds. 😂
Did I ever tell you my father should have been on the plane that crashed into the Twin Towers?
But that's just my opinion.
Why is America the fastest readers?
They went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The people in the Twin Towers, because they went through over 100 stories in less than 10 minutes.
There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father, "thank you for this moment, have a great night".
At the dance, the girl asks the boy, "can I have some food?" He gladly replies "yes" and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, "thank you so much, I really needed something to eat". Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, "thank you SOOOO much". Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, "what is it?" She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.
"Did you go to the light show?"
"Yeah, it was lit."
What did the captain of the Titanic do before the Titanic sunk?
He nominated everyone for the ice bucket awards.
It was an emotional wedding, even the cake was in tiers.
Why were 9/11 victims so mad?
They ordered three pepperoni pizzas, not two planes!
Why was 10 scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
What ended in 1999? 1998.