Event jokes
Why does the Tower of Pisa lean?
Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
What does the mom (or terrorists, fuck that) say for the (twin) towers to eat?
Open wide, here comes the plane!
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!
I’m going back to the house to get some stuff for my dad, and then I’m going to have a car and a birthday party come up for the weekend at the end of the week. I was going to get my birthday cake for the day.
Memes
Why do orphans only have 363 days in the year?
Because they don’t have a Mother's nor Father’s Day.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
911.
911 who?
You said you would never forget.
I don't know why, but every 911 joke I've heard always comes crashing down.
Why was ten scared?
It was in the middle of 9/11.
I wasn't close to my dad when he died.
Which was good. He died during 9/11.
Why did the skeleton not go to the party?
Why is 10 so scared? Because he is right in the middle of 9/11.
WTF happened?
Why are 9/11 victims so good at reading?
Because they can go through 100 stories in 5 minutes.
What did Jarrah say to Hanjour?
Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....
Good thing my brother's a little bit different.
How do you throw a space party?
You plan-et! Hahahaha, get it?
A man dies of old age on his 25th birthday. How is this possible?
Answer: He was born on February 29.
Why couldn't the cowboy go to the rodeo?
He forgot his calves!
I was watching the London Marathon one year, and I saw two runners in costumes. One of them was dressed a chicken and the other dressed as an egg. I thought: "This'll be interesting."