Event jokes

We were making jokes before the second tower even fell!

A man dies of old age on his 25th birthday. How is this possible?

Answer: He was born on February 29.

I was going to tell a 9/11 joke, but it was really plane.

Why is 10 so scared? Because he is right in the middle of 9/11.

My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.

Q: What is 9 + 11?

A: 9/11

You can't spell "Funeral" without "fun."

I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.

Why didn't the skeleton go to prom?

He was dead. You fool. You fell for my trick. I'm very heartless.

Oh wait.

You fool!

So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"

My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"

But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.

Hey, did you know that 9/11 won a Grammy?

Yes, best comedy award.

I was at an emotional wedding. The cake was in tiers.

What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.

Girl (on thirteenth birthday): Ma, why did papa leave?

Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...

Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!

what do you call it when you get married in Panera Bread?

Panera Wed.

What has 5 legs, 3 arms, and 2 feet?

The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

When was the first Black Friday?

1619.

What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?

I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!