Event jokes

What’s one thing you can say at a funeral and during sex?

She was too young.

Wanna know why not to joke about 9/11? They usually crash the party.

Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible, but the reception was great!

How does NASA organize a party? -- They planet.

Me: Wanna play 9/11?

Friend: What's that?

Me: It's a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.

Your mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

I bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.

I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi's concerts...

I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.

When was the first Black Friday?

1619.

My dad just comes and goes.

How do you know you’re ugly?

If you always get handed the camera for group photos.

Old people kept saying "you're next" to me at weddings, so I started saying it to them at funerals.

If you think about it, the 9/11 memorial is just a scoreboard.

Yo mama so ugly when her parents had a gender reveal party the balloon came out green.

I hooked up with the groom at my uncle's wedding.

When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm, and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.

Two people just met. One said, “We should do some bonding.” The other nodded and said back, “Titanic.” The first just looked confused so the second one just said, “Sorry, thought that would be a good icebreaker.”

I was going to watch the origami world championships before it folded.

But it was only on paper view.

Saying I'm sorry and I apologize are basically the same thing... except at a funeral.

A funny joke scenario.

Person 1: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.

Person 1: Because he was ugly, fat, and nobody liked him.