Event jokes
One weekend some distant family members that I hadn't met before came over. My cousins (who I also hadn't met before) were fighting, so I decided to separate them and place them in opposite corners of the room (thinking it would help).
My mom took me to an empty room with tears in her eyes and told me they both ended up dying.
Well, SO-RRY, but I didn't know they were conjoined twins.
Why didn't anyone care about the circus?
Because it was irr-elephant.
Why couldn't the skeleton go to the prom? Because he had no BODY to go with...
I could have said a skeleTON more jokes, but I think that might break your funny bone.
What did the Twin Towers get when they ordered an extra large pepperoni pizza?
When the pizza man got there, all they got was plane.
What did the captain of the Titanic do before the Titanic sunk?
He nominated everyone for the ice bucket awards.
Memes
Me at the Anti-Orphan Jokes convention. 💣🗡🔪🧨🔫
Random kid: Yo mama so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Orphan: What's a mama?
Random kid: *shook*
What ended in 1999? 1998.
I've never seen my dad since September 11. I wonder where he is...
What has 5 legs, 3 arms, and 2 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What died on 9/11?
2,996 people.
What has 3 legs, 4 arms, and 5 heads?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
The towers ordered pepperoni but got plane.
Everyone, take off your pride flags; it's already a new month.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
Answer: 9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 5 seconds.
They asked me to speak at this funeral, and I said, "Of corpse!"
What's yellow and can't swim? My mom on Halloween.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they got plane pizza instead of cheese!
Why were the people during 9/11 mad because they ordered pepperoni sandwiches, but they got two planes?
Twin Tower jokes are funny because they are dead.