Event jokes
Heyyy, in the last six months, [I had] 4 suicide attempts, broke up with 3 girls, and my mom went on drugs.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The 9/11 victims, they went through 700 stories in 10 seconds.
What does the mom (or terrorists, fuck that) say for the (twin) towers to eat?
Open wide, here comes the plane!
Once I got one so big, they were going to make 9/11 2.0!
Why is 10 always scared? Because he was in the middle of 9 and 11.
Your mom is so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
How does the earth rate its sex?
Earthquake, Cataclysm, Volcano explosion, Earth's core explodes.
If the earth's core explodes, then he got tore up!
Where did Sally go when the explosion happened?
Everywhere!
What is a neonatal's first time in the world?
How do you plan a party in outer space?
You planet.
Why were the people during 9/11 mad because they ordered pepperoni sandwiches, but they got two planes?
The second worst thing to happen to these orphans!
Why were the people in 911 devastated?
They ordered extra flavored pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
Why was the baby Dinosaur an orphan?
His family was blown up by meteors.
Where did Sally go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
I don't like making 9/11 jokes because every joke about 9/11 I make has a tendency to crash and burn.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair with a speaker?
Rolling Loud 🎸🎸
Who is the fastest reader? 9/11, it went through 10 stories in 7 seconds.
What died on 9/11? 2,996 people.
You must have been born on the highway because that's where accidents happen.