One weekend some distant family members that I hadn't met before came over. My cousins (who I also hadn't met before) were fighting, so I decided to separate them and place them in opposite corners of the room (thinking it would help).
My mom took me to an empty room with tears in her eyes and told me they both ended up dying.
Well, SO-RRY, but I didn't know they were conjoined twins.
Why didn't anyone care about the circus?
Because it was irr-elephant.
Why couldn't the skeleton go to the prom? Because he had no BODY to go with...
I could have said a skeleTON more jokes, but I think that might break your funny bone.
What did the Twin Towers get when they ordered an extra large pepperoni pizza?
When the pizza man got there, all they got was plane.
Me at the Anti-Orphan Jokes convention. 💣🗡🔪🧨🔫
What did the captain of the Titanic do before the Titanic sunk?
He nominated everyone for the ice bucket awards.
What ended in 1999? 1998.
Random kid: Yo mama so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Orphan: What's a mama?
Random kid: *shook*
What has 5 legs, 3 arms, and 2 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What died on 9/11?
2,996 people.
Everyone, take off your pride flags; it's already a new month.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
Answer: 9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 5 seconds.
They asked me to speak at this funeral, and I said, "Of corpse!"
What has 3 legs, 4 arms, and 5 heads?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What's yellow and can't swim? My mom on Halloween.
Your clown is so stupid it took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they got plane pizza instead of cheese!
Twin Tower jokes are funny because they are dead.
Where did Amy go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
Why were the people during 9/11 mad because they ordered pepperoni sandwiches, but they got two planes?
