What was the last thing going through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
Yo mama so fat, she has her own event horizon.
There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father, "thank you for this moment, have a great night".
At the dance, the girl asks the boy, "can I have some food?" He gladly replies "yes" and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, "thank you so much, I really needed something to eat". Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, "thank you SOOOO much". Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, "what is it?" She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.
Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Well, probably the person in front of them.
Yo mama is so fat, they had to flood the Super Bowl to give her a bath.
When was the biggest BBQ in history? Hiroshima, August 6, 1945.
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.
My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.
How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?
Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.
What's the difference between your birth and 9/11?
One was planned.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair with a speaker?
Rolling Loud 🎸🎸
Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.
We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"
Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡
Why was the tower of Pisa leaning?
They had better reflexes than the trading center.
What did the math teacher write on his party invitations?
Be there or B2.
Q: What is it called when a hoe is getting ready for her party but doesn't know what to wear but is thinking about it? A: A thotprosses
I was at an emotional wedding. The cake was in tiers.
Where did Sally go when the explosion happened?
Everywhere!
My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"
But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.
I had a cake for my gender reveal party. I cut it, and the inside was yellow...
