Event jokes
Why did your dad FUCKING LEAVE YOU? He went to suck balls.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
Orphans' calendar consists of 362 days. Why?
Because they don't got homecoming, Father's Day, and Mother's Day.
Why are 9/11 victims so good at reading?
Because they can go through 100 stories in 5 minutes.
"hipede hop hiped d the twin towers will be gone tomoreo at 8:43"
I called my sister a party pooper after she came to my party uninvited.
Grampa said that the only ones who poop at parties are the ones who don't get invited.
So I guess that means I was the party pooper at my own birthday?
What makes 9/11 an inside job?
Someone started calling it 10/7.
A father came to his daughter's 18th birthday. He finally came.
Where did Suzie go after the bombing?
Everywhere.
Why can’t orphans go to daughter and dad dance night? They don’t have a dad to go with.
Not sure if the Twin Towers were destroyed or if they were just purposely demolished. 🖐️😀
Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.
What do you call a house party for slaves?
An auction house.
You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.
What's the worst possible thing to be playing during the funeral of a bridge-collapse victim?
Fall Guys.
The towers collapsed on 9/10, not 9/11.
When Helen Keller tries singing the national anthem at the Super Bowl,
Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa.
What do you not bring to a paparazzi? A balloon.
Just remembering the day when the Jets beat the New York Giants.
Ever seen twins?
If you said yes, was it before or after 2001?
What is the worst thing about your birthday being on September 11?
Party crashers.