Event

Event jokes

Funeral

My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"

But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.

Victim

Victims of 9/11 are the fastest readers. They went through 94 stories in seconds.

Hoe

Q: What is it called when a hoe is getting ready for her party but doesn't know what to wear but is thinking about it? A: A thotprosses

Reader

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

The people in the Twin Towers, because they went through over 100 stories in less than 10 minutes.

Magician

There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.

Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"

Asteroid

When an asteroid is coming to kill us all:

98.9% of the population: OMG, we're all gonna die!

1% of the population: Eh... I never had any friends anyway.

Alia: ROLL THE INTRO!

Tower

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Jets versus towers, USA lost two.

Story

Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.

Gender

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?

There used to be two, but now it's a sore subject.

9/11

Six was scared of seven because 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because he was caught between 9/11.

Charity

I decided to make a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. It's called "Spastics on Elastics."

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  • Vegetable

    What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?

    Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.

    Book

    Guys, don’t put the Holocaust books in the fiction section, it was the worst mistake of my life!

    Twin Towers

    Me: Bro, I don't think the Twin Towers will ever order pizza again.

    Friend: Why?

    Me: Because when they ordered pepperoni, all they got was plane.

    9/11

    Why do people misplace 9/11 with emo kids? They both have a high death count.

    People

    The people in 9/11 were the fastest readers. They went through 10 stories in 10 seconds.