Event jokes
How do you organize a space themed birthday party?
You planet.
My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"
But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.
Where did Sally go when the explosion happened?
Everywhere!
I was at an emotional wedding. The cake was in tiers.
Q: What is it called when a hoe is getting ready for her party but doesn't know what to wear but is thinking about it? A: A thotprosses
Victims of 9/11 are the fastest readers. They went through 94 stories in seconds.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The people in the Twin Towers, because they went through over 100 stories in less than 10 minutes.
There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.
Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"
I don't like making 9/11 jokes because every joke about 9/11 I make has a tendency to crash and burn.
When an asteroid is coming to kill us all:
98.9% of the population: OMG, we're all gonna die!
1% of the population: Eh... I never had any friends anyway.
Alia: ROLL THE INTRO!
Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.
Today was a bittersweet day...
Bad news is my friend was assaulted. Good news is I successfully sneak attacked someone!
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two, but now it's a sore subject.
Six was scared of seven because 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because he was caught between 9/11.
I have a friend whose birthday is on September 11th.
They're going to have an explosive party that will definitely blow you away!
It's gonna be the bomb, and a blast, too!
I don’t usually tell 9/11 jokes, they usually crash and burn.
Why can't the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he has "no body" to go with!
Me: Bro, I don't think the Twin Towers will ever order pizza again.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because when they ordered pepperoni, all they got was plane.
The people in 9/11 were the fastest readers. They went through 10 stories in 10 seconds.
Why do people misplace 9/11 with emo kids? They both have a high death count.