How do you start a rave?
Throw a flashbang into the epileptic ward of a hospital.
"Did you go to the light show?"
"Yeah, it was lit."
I don't like 9/11 jokes, they tend to crash and burn.
Why does 9/11 only get a day, but Pride gets an entire month?
Because pride is a bigger tragedy.
I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.
If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.
How do you light up a football stadium? With a football match.
Q: When and where was the biggest BBQ ever?
A: Hiroshima, Japan 1946.
Sally threw herself a birthday party, and only one person showed up. Who is it?
The grim reaper.
September 11th. #BringYourPlaneToWorkDay
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Thanos snapped.
Who is the fastest reader? 9/11, it went through 10 stories in 7 seconds.
6 Germans walk into a bar... and only three walk out.
What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.
You're the type of person to play "Girl on Fire" during a funeral.
Hey, did you know that 9/11 won a Grammy?
Yes, best comedy award.
Today is the day of 9/11, and we were in class making jokes, and somebody said, "That's sad." I was like, "Why?" And they said, "Today is the day the towers went down." I said, "Just like I did on your mum last night."
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
Who says white people can't jump?
Have you seen the 911 footage?
A guy wins a free ticket to the Super Bowl and so he’s very excited.
However, he’s not so excited when he gets there and realizes his seat’s in the back of the stadium.
So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field.
He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken.
The man replies, “No.”
The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?”
The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.”
“Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?”
“No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.”
