Event jokes
Why couldn't the skeleton go to the prom? Because he had no BODY to go with...
I could have said a skeleTON more jokes, but I think that might break your funny bone.
What do you call a bunch of people near each other?
The start of the Hollacoast.
What has 5 legs, 3 arms, and 2 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
Where did Amy go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?
Where did Sally go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
What died on 9/11?
2,996 people.
Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?
'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.
Yo mama so stupid!
She bought a spoon... TO THE SUPERBOWL!
Louie being born.
Ur family reunion, a homosexual communion.
Where do you go when food dies?
A fooderal.
Why is it so hard to make a party on Earth?
Because you need to planet.
What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
"9/11 was just a really intense game of Jenga."
You know the difference between happy tailgaters and angry tailgaters?
Happy tailgaters know how to throw a party.
I was going to watch the origami world championships before it folded.
But it was only on paper view.
Person 1: Hey, did you hear about the circus fire?
Person 2: No.
Person 1: It was in-tents.
What has 5 legs, 3 arms, and 7 feet?
The finish line at the marathon bombing.
Stephen Hawking missed assembly this morning.