Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it?
The salad could be dressing!
"Namaste, 6 feet away, or I'll blow you away with this AK!"
Confucius say, "Man who sit in church and fart must sit in pew."
Who do you ask to wipe you? Your butler!
What did the nose say to the finger?
"Stop picking me!"
What is the worst thing to do at a funeral?
The corpse.
Why did you put your dirty ass feet in my grits without telling me all this?
Because I forgot to wash and dry them with a paper towel.
Little Johnny and his mom were sitting in church one day when suddenly Johnny said, "Mom, I think I'm gonna throw up!"
Then his mom said, "Go across the field and into the bushes, hopefully no one will see you there."
Johnny comes back a minute later, and his mom asks, "Did you make it?" Then Johnny said, "No, but there was a box by the door that SAID 'For The Sick!'"
Why can’t you high five a Japanese person?
Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
Why don't butts get along?
Because they can't stand each other's cheek!
A girl invites her friends to come to her birthday party, and at the party, one of her friends poops their pants.
When Sally finds out, she yells, “I never should have invited you to my party! You are a party pooper!”
What does your mom say when she is working?
Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
I called my sister a party pooper after she came to my party uninvited.
Grampa said that the only ones who poop at parties are the ones who don't get invited.
So I guess that means I was the party pooper at my own birthday?
