Equipment jokes
What animal is best at hitting a baseball? -- A bat.
Yo mama is so slow, they had to wait six hours for the crane to finally show up.
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he heard the "mic drop" was too high!
An astronaut has had a mid-life crisis. He decides to leave everything behind and become a country farmer.
He buys some land and equips himself with everything he needs. The following Monday, he's ready to go with his hoe in hand and is about to walk out the gate, but he can't get through.
Why, you might ask? He's got no arms.
What's harder than steel? Joe Biden at a playground.
When I went to basketball training, there was a giant bag of basketballs on the floor.
My friend was like, "That’s a huge sack of balls."
He didn’t realize what was about to happen.
What did the rapper say to the microphone?
"You're my closet confidant!"
How does a rapper start his day?
With a MIC check!
The shovel is a ground breaking invention.
*Slaps and laughs*
I put on my hazmat suit, and grabbed my equipment, and said, "My time to shine!"
I like dicks... sporting goods.
What do you call a group of black people in a shed?
Antique farm equipment.
I would tell a clock joke, but I don't have time.
Hi guys, so today I am going to do another blog. It's just for fun, and yeah. Enjoy!
So, this morning, when I woke up, I heard that I was getting new grips. I was so excited. (In case you guys don't know what grips are, they are sort of like gloves that go on your hands and they are for gymnastics bars.) I was excited because my old grips don't fit me anymore and my coach was like, "Oh I can get you some new ones since we have a meet in a week." And so I was like, "Oh, that's fine. My parents ordered me some. Thank you though." And she was like, "Okay, that's fine. Just make sure you have them by next week." So long story short, I have new grips now.
Why do golfers bring an extra pair of socks? In case they get a hole in one.
Why did the parachute refuse to open?
Because it had a "fatal attraction" to the ground.
So I'm the cable guy around the neighborhood, and I do everybody's cable. So I walked into this one house, and I noticed a little kid and the mom was upstairs. I was asking where her mom was, and she wasn't answering, and it looked like something was wrong, so I asked if anything was wrong. She didn't answer, so I kind of raised my voice at her, but she still didn't answer, and then I realized the hearing aid in her ear.
I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.
Yo mama so fat, when she falls, they have to call 999 and a crane to pick her up.
What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?
One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.