Employment jokes

Finally my father came early from office today. I am very happy.

He was fired from his job.

Why did the person get fired from the calendar factory?

Because they took a day off.

I worked at a calendar factory, but I got the sack for taking a few days off!

Orphans can’t work at Johnson and Johnson because it’s a family company.

Job sucks. XD

Some people don't appreciate what I do for a living.

oo----- ()

Did you hear about the blind prostitute?

Well, you got to hand it to her.

You are so ugly, when you went to a haunted house, you came back with a job application.

Why does the pimp always use job fairs as a way of recruiting new hoes?

He always gets a great turnout.

I got fired from a pickle factory for getting my finger caught in a slicer. They only gave *her* the day off with pay... unfair!

How to get 60 Translink workers? Please head out of the pool because ya'll are fat. Oh wait, didn't you poop yourself? Say sorry to your underwear while pooping as a fat Canadian Translink worker, little boy.

Jobs,

50 shapes head.

I have a bunch of jokes about unemployed people. It's a shame they never work!

I used to work at a bank, then I lost interest.

1. Full name: John.

2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run.

3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream.

4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated.

5. Mental health: mentally retarded.

6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit.

7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named Redwing and the lizard named Notail.

8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock.

9. Working motivation: none.

I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John.