Employment jokes
What’s worse than getting a job at McDonald’s?
Not getting the job at McDonald’s.
There was a house with a three-story building.
The first one had Mexicans.
The second one had Africans.
The third one had white people.
An earthquake came.
But who did survive?
The white family because they were at work.
Q: Where does a one-legged waitress work?
A: IHOP.
I think I might apply for a job cleaning mirrors.
It’s a job I can see myself doing.
Why can't orphans work at S. C. Johnson? Because it's a family company.
I went to an interview and my future boss said, "Hi, my name is Watt Niseto, meet you."
Then said, "WHAT IS UR NAME?" He then said,
"What is not my name, Watt is." So I replied, "Ugh fine, I guess I'll call you Wha." Then he said, "Wha I not my name."
And then I said, "Ugh fine, my name is Will Knott." He then replied, "Hi Will Not."
UGHHHHHHH TODAY WAS TERRIBLE! My wife got hit by a bus!!! And I lost my job as a bus driver!
Why didn't the sun get a job? Seriously, I have no idea why. Help me!
Neona: Gwen! I got the job!!!!!!!!!
Gwen: I knew it! I knew my prayer worked!
Neona: He said that all my ideas are the best and that I start on Monday!
Gwen: Man, don't you love Mr. Jaekson? He is the best person the company has ever had!
Neona: Who is Mr. Jaekson?
Gwen: Wait... Mr. Jaekson didn't interview you?
Neona: No! Mr. Smith did. He said he was standing.
Gwen: No, Mr. Smith, you are a fool who never lets you spread the word or do anything. I can also mention that he is a person who has sexual problems!
Neona: Gwen, you are a liar!
Gwen: No, I'm not. I'm telling the truth, Neona!
Neona: Gwen, please be happy that I got the job without you lying that Mr. Smith sexual assaults women!!!
Gwen: He does, you're not listening.
Neona: I don't care, BITCH!!!!
What do you call an unemployed Rastafarian?
Jah Bless.
I lost my job at the bank today. A lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Yo mama's so ugly, she went into a haunted house......
And came back out with a job application, then that ran away *CAUSE SHE'S A UGLY FUCK*
So, this woman had a job. She wanted to hang out with her boyfriend, so she lied about having the coronavirus. Then she got out of work. Then she was texting her boss when she thought she was texting her boyfriend. Then she said, "I lied. Now we can...you know...water...sigh...lick...sigh." Then her boss texted, "Ew and YOU'RE FIRED."
One more story: One day this teen named Alexis got kicked out of a house, then went to live with her boyfriend. Then she got pregnant and posted it all on social media.
9 people walked into Bunnings Warehouse.
2 people bought plants.
3 people bought shovels.
1 person yelled.
3 people left Bunnings Warehouse.
1 person was me. I guess those three people are fired! 💁♀️🤦♀️
"Today was the worst day ever." "Why?" Because my ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Hi, I got fired. Oh, don't know which fire? Oh, the one that I got burned on, the volcano.
I made a bunch of jokes about unemployed people. Sadly, all of them don't work.
I used to work at a bank, then I lost interest.
One time, I worked at 3 jobs at the same time and my boss said it was illegal.
It got too out of hand and I got spanked.
My dad has a pretty shitty job.