Emotion jokes
Ur dad is mad.
Please stop hurting people's feelings, or they'll hang around the house.
Love.
Why you always in a mood?
I was bullying an orphan, then I said, "What, you gonna run home and cry to your mom?"
Me: And this is the room I cry in.
Date: You've said that about every room.
Me: Correct!
Therapy - Expensive - Years of hard work - Emotionally draining - Tough to find
Screaming in the woods - Free - Immediate relief - Scares hunters enough to leave, therefore saving innocent animals - Potential to make friends with people who are also screaming in the woods.
After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,
Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"
I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!
My emo friend tried to hi-five a tree. It left him hanging.
I started crying when Dad started cutting onions.
Onions was a good dog.
I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today.
A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.”
I said, “Well, which one are you then?”
Happiness belonged to you, then gave you depression.
Being mean.
Fuck youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu na na na na na na!
How do ghosts cry?
Boo hoo.
How do demons cry?
ERCDVHVXRCDHGHDCFHBGFBHGN FGEHJGNVEGHDNES BGEWYSHGBEWHGSGNBDGEBSHNZAGCHNSNGEHSNGVHGNNEBDSVZHGB.
My hair is blue, and I'm blue!
Gwen, do you have to be so happy all the time? Even you don't get the joke!
What's at the bottom of the ocean and shivers?
A nervous wreck.
If you have a bad day, just think there are at least 15 people who care about you.