Michael Jakson gets really ill so he's rushed to hospital. When they get there he says 'am i in heaven?' The doctor replies 'Nah sir we're just taking a quick shortcut through the children's ward.'
A white dad,a priest and a rhabi all run out a burning school and the dad says “what about the kids” and the rhabi reply’s to him saying “fuck the kids” and the priest says “think we got enough time”
what do ambulances and gay men have in common? they both take it in the back and go whoop whoop :D
Me and my friend went to the park, after a while we grabbed our little princess and said "it's time to go sweetie" but before we could go someone said "stop them they have my daughter!"
Why did the tamale go to the hospital
tamalito
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades
If stephen hawking has a heart attack do u take him to halfords or a&e
Person: 'Doctor, doctor I've only got 50 seconds to live'
Doctor: 'Just give me a minute'
When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.
911 what’s your emergency Me, my grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she’s dead Well it’s not a living room any more Me, hangs up
Ran out of toilet paper so had to start using lettuce leaves...today was the tip of the iceberg
A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning fortunately no one was injured - but 100 were killed.
Why do they call me a firefighter? Because I find them hot, and I leave them wet!
I was talking to my welsh friend the other day and he suddenly started talking welsh to me then collapsed after the first few sentences. Turns out he had a stroke
Why can't they blonde call 911
Can she can't find the 11
A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
When the school shooter breaks into your classroom so you try to say goodbye to your Roblox gf but then the shooter's phone goes off.
The Women saw a Cute lookin cop she Had pulled up right Next to him and said “Hey can i get your number” He said yea it’s “911”. And drove of
So Santa fell down the chimney but it was a lit chimney...his names no longer Santa. It's crisp cringle. Pls send help :).
Me: Calls 9-1-1 Operator: 9/11 what’s your emergency? Me: *hangs up*
