Emergency Jokes

The Women saw a Cute lookin cop she Had pulled up right Next to him and said “Hey can i get your number” He said yea it’s “911”. And drove of

A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning fortunately no one was injured - but 100 were killed.

I was talking to my welsh friend the other day and he suddenly started talking welsh to me then collapsed after the first few sentences. Turns out he had a stroke

A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."

Why can't they blonde call 911

Can she can't find the 11

When the school shooter breaks into your classroom so you try to say goodbye to your Roblox gf but then the shooter's phone goes off.

Person: I broke my arm in three places

Doctor: well don’t go to those three places then.

Me: Calls 9-1-1 Operator: 9/11 what’s your emergency? Me: *hangs up*

So Santa fell down the chimney but it was a lit chimney...his names no longer Santa. It's crisp cringle. Pls send help :).

What’s the difference between 911 and a abortion?

With 911 there was a victim to tell the tale.

I was at a restaurant and a waitress yelled "dose anyone know CPR" i said "i know the whole alphabet"everyone laughed and laughed well everyone except one.

I was playing football with my friends and i got tackled and got a penalty suddenly the ground started shaking and penaldo emerged from the mud and he till the penalty but since it wasn’t andorra he missed. Shame on you penaldo!

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What does it sound when a dragon sings? A fire alarm

Stop making 911 jokes they don't land so well.

When the school shooter breaks into the classroom and you look at your friend cause it’s the kid you predicted

Its embarrassing when there is no toilet paper and you need to go and get one with your pants down, lucky enough the super market is just round the corner.