Emergency Jokes

Why do they call me a firefighter? Because I find them hot, and I leave them wet!

When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm, and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.

Ran out of toilet paper, so had to start using lettuce leaves... today was the tip of the iceberg.

My brother called me short and ugly, so I called him an ambulance.

Obama, Trump, and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and is going down.

Obama: "This is terrible! We've got to do something -- save the women and children!"

Trump: "Screw the women and children!"

Clinton: "Do you think we have time...?"

HeHeH

The image shows a smartphone lock screen with a blue background. The time is 1:18, and the date is Wednesday, October 3. There is an emergency alert that reads, "Presidential Alert Delete those sus google searches."

A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning. Fortunately, no one was injured - but 100 were killed.

The woman saw a cute lookin' cop. She had pulled up right next to him and said, "Hey, can I get your number?" He said, "Yeah, it's 911," and drove off.

I was talking to my Welsh friend the other day, and he suddenly started talking Welsh to me then collapsed after the first few sentences. Turns out he had a stroke.

A policeman once said, "I will never forget 9/11."

I said, "I hope not, that’s your phone number!"

Why can't a blonde call 911?

She can't find the 11.

When the school shooter breaks into your classroom, so you try to say goodbye to your Roblox gf, but then the shooter's phone goes off.

Person: I broke my arm in three places.

Doctor: Well, don't go to those three places then.

I was playing football with my friends, and I got tackled and got a penalty. Suddenly, the ground started shaking, and Penaldo emerged from the mud. He took the penalty, but since it wasn't Andorra, he missed. Shame on you, Penaldo!