Emergency jokes
AMONG US IMPOSTER VENTED RED SUS AMOGUS EMERGENCY MEETING SABOTAGED DEAD BODY REPORTED HAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAA DING DING DING DING DING DING DING...DINGDINGDING, DUN DUN
9/11 called for help. What did that get? Nothing.
Never joke about 9/11, they'll just crash and burn.
I have an EpiPen.
My friend gave it to me when he was dying.
It seemed really important to him that I have it.
When the school shooter leaves your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
My sister was at Sixth Street and someone stepped on her toes and she bled, so she called the police! XD
There are 4 people on an airplane, and the pilot has a heart attack and dies. The plane is going down, and there are also only 3 parachutes. So the guy who knows how to cure cancer says, "I’m jumping. I can save many lives." Then the 46th president, Joe Biden, says, "I’m taking the 2nd one." So there is only one left. Donald Trump says to the 7-year-old girl, "I have lived a long life. You can take the next one." So the little girl says, "That’s ok; the 46th president took my backpack." Lol.
Two hunters are walking in the forest together. Hunter #2 flops down, unconscious, and Hunter #1 dials 911.
Operator: "911, what's your emergency?"
Hunter no. 1: "The other hunter, hunting with me in the woods, fell asleep."
Operator: "Check if he's/she's (not assuming genders) dead."
*Operator hears a distant gunshot*
Hunter no. 1: "What do I do next?"
A truck carrying Vicks VapoRub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours straight.
What game console do emergency vehicles play? Wii U!!!
Where was Stephen Hawking during the house fire?
The top of the stairs.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
I got kicked out of the hospital.
Apparently, the sign "Stroke patients here" meant something totally different.
Why did so many people die in the Grenfell Fire Disaster in London?
All the exit signs were in English.
Where is the building I was in, and why is there a plane?
I just found out my ex got stabbed today... let's just say I lost my job as a butcher.
"hvhuhdsjcjdsijdskdsivhdsvhsjdvnsjdvdshvgdshgsdhfgh" That's what my friend said when he gave an EpiPen. I don't know why, though.
Fastest story readers are 9/11 victims.
They went through 87 stories in 7 seconds.
*Coughs roughly* Oh my God, it hurts so much. I can't see. It burns! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! *Weakly*
When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋♂️🙋♂️🙋♂️