Never joke about 9/11, they'll just crash and burn.
One time, I took my wife to the doctors. My wife had a severe migraine and needed a medic. I waited for about 10 minutes.
The doctor walked out with my wife in a wheelchair. "Due to your wife's broken hip, she may never walk again," said the doctor. "She had a migraine," I said. "Oh, we know," said the doctor.
Q: What is red, white, and blue and fun to watch?
A: A cop car rolling over after trying to catch someone for speeding.
A father and his young son go to a restaurant and to keep him occupied, he gives the boy three pennies to play with. Suddenly, the boy starts choking and his face starts turning blue! The father realizes the boy has swallowed the pennies and starts slapping him on the back.
The boy coughs up two of the pennies, but keeps choking.
Looking at his son, panicking, the father starts shouting for help.
A well dressed, serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a nearby table reading from her laptop and sipping a cup of coffee.
At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants, takes hold of the boy’s testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last penny, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
Releasing the boy’s testicles, the woman walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word, but keeps the penny.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, “I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?”
“No,” the woman replied. “I’m with the Internal Revenue Service.”
911 pilots are the best readers, They went through 30 stories in less than an hours
A Down child is drowning, he calls help with all of his voice:<<Somebody help me!! I'm Downing>>
BA DUM TSS
What world record did the people in 911 get the world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds
my dad died in 911 he was a good pilot
My grandpa was in 911. He was the best pilot.
The reason why in the US there emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed rip best pilot ever
What do you call a rapper who's also a firefighter?
BLAZE RHYMES
What would you do if you see a guy suffocating from the heat? I would call and dial 911, holy shit!
"Parademics are so bad, yo mama can't stop!"
Why couldn't the blonde dial 911?
She couldn't find the 11.
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
Where is the building I was in, and why is there a plane?
Sully: Praised after landing in the Hudson River.
Garuda Indonesia 421:
Sully's co-pilot:
It was September 10, 2001, when I stayed up watching TV shows.
I woke up late for work at The World Trade Center, but it was burning. I said out loud, "I was late! I'm happy I was late to work! I mean... I could've di-" I was then beaten and bruised by the emergency services.
Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.
Mom: OMG, why son?
Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.
Think about it, then spread LMAO.
A Catholic school is burning down. One of the priests says, "Save the children, save them!" Another priest says, "F*ck the children, we're gonna die!!" The last priest is like, "Hmmm... do we have time?"
