Me: Mom, if Adam and Eve are white, then how were slaves made?
Mom: Well, Eve and the monkey fucked each other.
Me: Oh, okay.
Goes to school.
Teacher: How were humans made?
Me: Eve fucked the monkeys.
Teacher: 😑
"Meow, meow, I'm a dog," said the sped kid.
Did you hear about the volcano that was accepted into Cambridge?
It was a decision on the number of degrees it holds, which is a lot, because volcanoes have lava if they're active. And ours was.
Do you want to know why I hired a protractor to tutor my nephew in IIROC? Because he has degrees. 180 of them. So he's smar[t].
I went to school and everyone was screaming and looking at me. They weren't after I shot them, though.
I put my heart and soul in my report, then my teacher says:
"Hey KIDS were going to repeat making current events about our state til we DIE."
....No wonder when kids leave school they're soulless.
RIP Meh Soul.
Why did the rapper go to school?
To get his degree in FLOW-NOMICS.
I don't laugh at Trump.
I was taught to NEVER make fun of the mentally handicapped.
Yo mama so dumb, she failed lunch.
Why do cheetahs always get 100 on a test?
They’re cheetahs!
"Fuck the school, fuck it!"
Why can’t orphans go to college?
'Cause they have no one to talk to.
Why did C.S.C. fail the trigonometry test?
Cosecant remember his own name.
Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.
Class: no one stands up.
Teacher: Oh c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room*
Little Johnny: *stands up*
Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb?
Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.
Two times four is eight, now stop f***ing asking me!
Why did you scream? Oh... Helen Keller tried to cook... 😨
Mrs. Harolen: Students, tomorrow's assignment is to bring your parents to school for a conference with the teacher information.
Garen: I want to know who cannot bring their parents to a conference. ORPHANS!
Students: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Mrs. Harolen: Garen sit down! NOW!
Garen: Hey, why can't orphans get a dog? They don't have their parents to drive them to the animal shelter.
Halen: Yeah! Why are orphans racist? Because they never saw their parents with a different race!
Students: No, that's not funny!
Student: SHUT UP!
How does an apple fall from a tree?
I don't know, ask Sir Isaac Newton!
Why is the orphan so dumb?
Because he didn’t have parents to pay for it.
What do you call a short student?
A Ravin.
