Eating jokes
Kim Jong Il: Knock knock.
Political Prisoner: Who's there?
Kim Jong Il: Boo.
Political Prisoner: Boo who?
Kim Jong Il: Boo hoo? Don't cry just because I executed your wife and enslaved your children. You at least get to eat today, my friend.
Why doesn't a teddy bear eat? Because it is already stuffed.
Are you a Chipotle bowl? Because I wanna eat you out.
What does Stephen Hawking eat?
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What does Bill Cosby and someone eating at McDonald's have in common?
They're both mc lovin' what they're eating.
The old cookoo master on the top of Mt. Qinshan told me this when I was eating sushi:
"The first bite tastes like heaven, the second takes you there."
😳
Me: Can you give me some drumsticks to eat?
Brother: Why though?
Me: So I can just drum up an appetite.
As a kid, I used to eat a sour herb from a certain spot near a rock.
Now I pee on it, just following the ritual of Africa.
Why does the Flash eat ostriches? Because he likes fast food.
What do you call a group of Indians that eat curry all the time?
The Munch Bunch.
What do you call an Indian eating cows? Mooove to jail.
What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?
Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.
Where is the best place to eat tacos?
In the Gulp of Mexico.
Okay, so I have a dairy and sugar allergy, and if I eat it, I get REALLY CONSTIPATED, so this is me when I’m constipated ᕙ(⇀‸↼‵‵)ᕗ lol.
What’s one food orphans can eat?
Homemade.
Her: Eat my ass!
Me: Yes, chef!
Boys eat Frito Bandito, but men eat Guido Bandito.
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and eat it.
What is a cannibal's favorite vegetable?
- Ladies' Finger