Eating jokes
One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?
Why did the snake eat a panda?
A girl's pussy is a muff, and when we have something against our mouths, they say our voice is muffled, so do I think the origin of the word "muffled" is talking while eating muff?
What’s one food orphans can eat?
Homemade.
Her: Eat my ass!
Me: Yes, chef!
Wolf looks like a fox.
It has the sharpest claws.
It has a bushy tail.
To eat, it doesn't fail.
It has a coat of red.
My grandmother has said,
It hunts in search of food.
It is never, never good!
Me: Can you give me some drumsticks to eat?
Brother: Why though?
Me: So I can just drum up an appetite.
Would you rather have a menstrual period with horrible cramps for 200 days straight (including men)?
Or eat 10 lbs of dog s**t every day for 100 days?
Would you rather eat a girl out who has: herpes, COVID, and AIDS while she is on her period?
Or eat live worms, bats, and mice?
Suck on a finger, once bite it off, taste it, put some ketchup on it, wait, I'm making a mess, I bit it off!
Why did Sophia cross the road?
To eat her nuggies!
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
'Cause mommy never gave them some.
What does Stephen Hawking eat?
What does Bill Cosby and someone eating at McDonald's have in common?
They're both mc lovin' what they're eating.
Are you a Chipotle bowl? Because I wanna eat you out.
Why doesn't a teddy bear eat? Because it is already stuffed.
The old cookoo master on the top of Mt. Qinshan told me this when I was eating sushi:
"The first bite tastes like heaven, the second takes you there."
😳
What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?
Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.
Okay, so I have a dairy and sugar allergy, and if I eat it, I get REALLY CONSTIPATED, so this is me when I’m constipated ᕙ(⇀‸↼‵‵)ᕗ lol.
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
Abortion clinics don't do deliveries.