Eating jokes
Suck on a finger, once bite it off, taste it, put some ketchup on it, wait, I'm making a mess, I bit it off!
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
'Cause mommy never gave them some.
You're fat. Don't sugar coat it because you would probably eat that, too.
What does iCloud eat for lunch?
Your documents.
Why doesn't a teddy bear eat? Because it is already stuffed.
Memes
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
Abortion clinics don't do deliveries.
The old cookoo master on the top of Mt. Qinshan told me this when I was eating sushi:
"The first bite tastes like heaven, the second takes you there."
😳
Why did the snake eat a panda?
A girl's pussy is a muff, and when we have something against our mouths, they say our voice is muffled, so do I think the origin of the word "muffled" is talking while eating muff?
What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?
Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.
Q: What do bloods eat when they get sick?
A: Chicken noodle suwoop.
Are you a Chipotle bowl? Because I wanna eat you out.
What does Bill Cosby and someone eating at McDonald's have in common?
They're both mc lovin' what they're eating.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What does Stephen Hawking eat?
After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.
During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."
Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"
You take a plane from Australia. Your mom is American, your dad is British, and your brother (and you) is Canadian (well, because they traveled along many places). You are eating dinner, but you realized you were going to Europe.
You went sleepy, and you forgot your pet named "Strallia." But she could not go anyways, so you had to leave her. When you went to Europe, you were in the "COUNTRY-SIDE."
What's the similarity between dogs and poor people?
They both eat from trash.
Why is the disease lung cancer never hungry? Because it's eating your lungs.
People are like bean burritos. You can eat them EVERY DAY, but you'll never run out.