Eating jokes
My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.
The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;
What does a Tusken Raider eat after his meal?
Some desert!
Why do we put round pizzas in square boxes and eat them as triangles?
Today I learned that on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.
Rachel won the lottery twice in two years. Her friend Jim called her every day asking for tips on winning, just the same. Then one day, simply to get rid of him, Rachel said, "Watch two martial arts movies, eat three pieces of hard beef jerky, and pick a fight at a bar."
Jim replied with a shocked look, "That's what I do after Mr. Tugman shakes my hand too long."
I ate a time machine once, it was very time-consuming. Especially when I went back four seconds.
One day, I'm going to Malta to a big hotel. In the morning, I go down to eat breakfast. I tell the waitress I want two pieces of toast. She brings me only one piece. I tell her I want a piece. She says, "Go to the toilet." I say, "You don't understand. I want a piece on my plate." She says, "You better not piss on your plate, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.
I don't need this shit!!
Later, I go to eat at the big restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife, but no fork. I tell her I wanted a fork. She tells me everyone wanna fuck. I say, "You don't understand, I want a fork on my table." She says, "You better not fuck on the table, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.
I don't need this shit!
So, I go back to my room in a hotel, and there are no sheets on the bed. I call the manager and tell him I want a sheet. He tells me, go to the toilet. I say, "You don't understand, I want a sheet on my bed." He says, "You better not shit on my bed, you son of a bitch."
I go to the checkout, and the man at the desk says, 'Peace on you.' I say, 'Piss on you too, you son of a bitch. I'm going back to Italia. Arrivederci!'
I don't need this shit!
Moral of the story, don't go to Australia with a Korean accent.
Meya eats meat all her sins is go off when she eat meat.
Why can't Chinese play baseball?
Because they eat the bats.
Your legs are just like Oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat what's in between.
Q: Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him?
A: He doesn’t exist, you childish sh**!
I just got my COVID vaccine, and this lady said, "You have no idea what you put in your body." I said, "Yet you are eating chorizo."
Why is the disease lung cancer never hungry? Because it's eating your lungs.
The old cookoo master on the top of Mt. Qinshan told me this when I was eating sushi:
"The first bite tastes like heaven, the second takes you there."
😳
A: Do you eat food?
B: Yes...
A: You can sit on deez nuts then!
B: Omg I have depression now.
Mom, start eating, or else you will get fatter!
Have you heard of Wendy's?
Yea, Wendy's nuts in you mouth.
Q: What did the cannibal say to the leper?
A: You gonna eat that?
Why do skeletons like having sex with short girls before eating?
They like to bone a petite.
Why do cannibals not like to eat clowns?
Cause they taste funny!