Eating Jokes

This isn't a joke, but in some countries, children eat their shit for better digestion when constipated.

"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it is too cheesy."

"YOU MORON ITS *TOO* not TO, IM GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE AND RIP OUT YOUR PROSTATE"

A boy asked his dad for some money to buy an ice cream with, so he went to an ice cream van. Whilst he was in the queue, two boys asked him what flavor he was getting. He told them "strawberry." The two boys were shocked and beat him up. The ice cream man felt bad and gave him his strawberry ice cream for free.

When he got home, his dad also asked what flavor he bought. The boy said "strawberry." His dad then kicked him out of the house. The boy, confused, walked down the street and was stopped by the police, who were looking for a boy who had been eating strawberry ice cream. The boy said, "That's me," and the policeman arrested him.

A week later in court, the boy was on trial. The judge asked, "Can you tell me what were you doing on the fifth of May?" (the day he was arrested) The boy said, "I was eating ice cream." The judge decided he was innocent. On the way out, the judge asked him what the flavor was (he had forgotten to ask during the trial). Of course, he answered with "strawberry." The judge, horrified, realized he had given the wrong verdict and the boy should have been executed. Unfortunately, he couldn't change what had happened, so the boy walked out and crossed the road but was hit by a car and died.

The moral of the story is look left and right before crossing the road.

One time my boyfriend and I were playing the tickle game and I tickled him on his thighs by accident, and I said, "Oh no, I am dead."

Then he started tickling me on my thighs up to my vagina, and then I moaned while laughing and told him, "STOP, please."

Then he said, "That's what I thought," and I was like, you cheated. He was like, "You first did it."

So he went to the restroom and pulled down his pants. Then I jumped on him and pulled his dick five times, and he screamed, and I quickly ran out and laughed. Then he ran to me, and I screamed, and he started eating my pussy and fingering me while I said, "Okay, okay, stop."

And he stopped and started sucking my boobs and giving me hickeys while I said, "Please stop," and then I pushed him off, and he turned me around and put his dick in my hole, and I said, "Owwwwwwww."

Then he said, "Play with me, I'll fuck you up."

I said, "Ughh," and slapped him.

I hate cereal, lol.

What I say when I eat cereal: "Ewww!"

so true lol

A close-up image of a chipmunk with its cheeks full, looking startled. The text overlay says: "When you already started eating and someone says 'let's pray'."

Tonight I'll be eating freshly grown pork cutlets with a fresh juicy amount of Poké Balls.

Do you get what I am trying to poke out?

Orphans will eat toes for food.

Why do Orphans don’t like to eat big bags of chips : because there family size

Why cant aisans play cricket? Because they will eat the ball

Why do people eat bananas? Because it's a-peeling!

What do squirrels eat at the fair? A-corn dog.

poop i eat it for dinner i eat it at night yet it never comes out of me? how is that possibul?

pOOp

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

I eat mop.

A-I eat mop who?

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Yull.

Yull who?

You'll be sorry if you eat all the fruitcake!

Bra eat E.T.?

Why did the adopted kid eat the last cookie? Because he was the only one left to adopt; everyone hated him.

We all know the joke: Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9.

But do you know why 9 is scared of 7?

Because you are supposed to eat 3 square meals a day (3 squared).

Once a bird went to search for food. Then suddenly he saw grain on a road. When he saw a bullock cart, he said, "That's too far away." Then the bullock immediately came, and the king bird came, and the deceitful bird said, "Sorry, Majesty, I was wrong to eat this on the road." And then he died, and the king bird goes back and tells everybody about it.

Johnny, Johnny?

Yes, Papa.

Eating sugar?

Yes, Papa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach, and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you’re mad at me for eating a little sugar.

Smoking? Telling lies?

Yes, Papa, you do all of those things because you’re a chronic addict.