Eating jokes
What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?
Kid's.
If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?
People are like bean burritos. You can eat them EVERY DAY, but you'll never run out.
Why do feminists eat so much pussy?
To get the taste of dick out of their mouths.
Does it cycle now, you stupid bitches?
What happens when you eat salmon with Nutella?
You get salmonella.
What do squats eat? Numbers.
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a can of Spam?
After 6 months in the woods, you'll still eat the can of Spam.
A cannibal went to the dietitian, and he got told to eat more vegetables, so he ate a disabled person.
Why can't fat kids play poker?
They eat all the chips.
Eat frozen orphans, it's ğøöđ.
What is the difference between the National Organization For Carpet Munchers and the National Organization For Women?
The National Organization For Women has more experience in being a carpet muncher because they eat more pussy.
So, I walked into the kitchen and saw my mom had made cookies. I stole one, not noticing my mom was behind me.
So my mom said, "Put the cookie back, kid!" and I said I wasn't gonna eat it. Then she said, "Never mind, I'll get your father." So my mom said, "Honey, deal with your son; I'm going to the mall!" And my dad said, "Son, if you're not allowed to have a cookie before dinner!"
So he went into his room, and I heard the belt, and I was going to run, but I knew it would be worse. So he said, "This will be your punishment." As he was getting ready to hit me, I said, "Daddy, no, please, I wasn't gonna eat it!" But he said, "No, you won't change my mind, little boy!" Then he hit me. Thank you for reading! Stay healthy and stay safe in this time. Bye!!! Read more of my jokes; they'll probably be around the website!!
My three favorite things are eating my family, and not using commas.
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
It’s amazing just how paranoid Hitler was.
In Hitler’s Germany, it was illegal to make jokes about him or his regime.
Come on! Forbidding Germans from making jokes? Isn’t that a bit like forbidding Americans from eating salad?
What is a cannibal's favorite vegetable?
- Ladies' Finger
Would you rather have a menstrual period with horrible cramps for 200 days straight (including men)?
Or eat 10 lbs of dog s**t every day for 100 days?
Why is every number scared of 7?
Because 7 "ate" 9.
What do cannibals call a wheelchair user?
"Uber Eats."
Ever wonder why pandas are endangered? Well, China's overcrowded, and therefore they're starving. They have to eat... Panda: "My god. They're coming! Run! They're hungry! Run! Roll down the hill!" Chinese People At Bottom Of Mountain With Spears: "Ching chong wing bong KABOB!!!"