Eating jokes
(True story)
One day Sally's mom said, "I can just eat you up!" And Sally says, "No, you can't!" Then the mom asks why and Sally says, "Because I'm a beaner, and we don't taste good."
I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up, my pillow was gone!
Little Johnny brings his cat to school, and then the teacher asked him why. Little Johnny says, "Because I heard my dad tell my mom I'm going to eat that pussy up when the kids leave!"
What do frogs eat?
French fries!
Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"
As a man can confirm
Bro, wait, are cannibals real, though?
Anyway, my joke is if you eat yourself, are you a cannibal?
Think about it, lol. Haha.
Jack and Jill went up my ass to eat a big dildo, but Jack died cause he got hit by a brown thing.
You're so skinny you're a thin stick.
You're so fat that when you got in Pacific Ocean, you became the Pacific Ocean.
You're so ugly you got stuff for free.
You're so nasty that when you eat spaghetti, you thought it was throw up.
You're so fat you're the fattest person on Earth.
You are so gay you kissed the boy last night.
Do emos eat...
Happy meals?
What’s green and yellow and eats at your nuts?
Gonorrhea.
Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together.
In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.
As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.
She replies, "No".
Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school."
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
She replies, "No."
Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school."
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
His mom says "No."
He asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?"
He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."
Guy: You won't eat a human, so why do you eat meat?
Other Guy: It is bold of you to think I won't eat a human.
What do gay horses eat?
Hay.
Why is the disease lung cancer never hungry? Because it's eating your lungs.
Why did Jeffrey eat all the ice cream in one sitting?
To make room in the freezer for his special meat.
What time is it when you eat a Christmas tree?
Time to get a new Christmas tree! 🎄
How do fish get high?
Because they eat seaweed.
What does Michael Jackson like to eat? Little wieners.
What does a man with 20 children do now?
Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.
I tried to eat ass once. The donkeys got one hell of a kick!