Eating jokes

Do you wanna eat makeup, 'cause you're not pretty on the inside?

Yo mama so fat that if she didn't eat for a day, there would be enough food to feed Africans for 500 years.

Guy: You won't eat a human, so why do you eat meat?

Other Guy: It is bold of you to think I won't eat a human.

Meya eats meat all her sins is go off when she eat meat.

I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys...

Huh, I don’t recall ever eating a monkey!

I sat down to eat some ice cream. The next moment, I screamed!

What happens when you eat salmon with Nutella?

You get salmonella.

When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.

How about that airplane food? I eat it when I'm high.

What time is it when you eat a Christmas tree?

Time to get a new Christmas tree! 🎄

When my friend eats a mint, I say, "Hey, is it mint to be sweet?"

What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?

Long John Silvers or Captain D's.

Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.

What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?

Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.

What do eating a watermelon, rolling a cigarette, and eating a hippie chick out have in common?

Spit, spit, spit!

What do you call an orphan when they eat a meal? A family dinner.

Timmy Turner: I wish the Vegan Teacher was a cheeseburger.

Wanda: Ok, Timmy.

Timmy: Cosmo, bring her to me!

Cosmo: Here you go, Timmy.

*Timmy eats Miss Kadie*

What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?

Answer: fire.

MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.

If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?