Eating jokes
Your mum is so fat, she eats every meal from KFC, Maccas, Hungry Jacks all at once!
Cannibal eats missionary, gets a taste for religion.
"Jonny, Jonny?"
"Yes, Papa?"
"Eating sugar?"
"No, Papa."
"Open your mouth!" Shoves hand down throat-
Eat my butt.
A young cowboy entered a seedy cafe in a small West Texas town.
He sat at the counter and spotted an elderly cowboy with his arms folded and his gaze fixed on a bowl of chili. After roughly 15 minutes of staring at it, the young cowboy boldly inquired, “If you’re not going to eat it, do you mind if I do?” Slowly turning his head toward the young wrangler, the older cowboy muttered, in his best cowboy voice, “Nah. Go ahead.”
The young cowboy eagerly reached over and slid the bowl over to his spot, spooning it in with glee. He was almost to the bottom when he noticed a rotten dead rat in the chili.
The sight was shocking, and he immediately upchucked the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly said, “Yep, that’s as far as I got, too...”
SPAGHETTI DEMON
What do most disabled people eat?
Their arm.
Your mom is so skinny, she eats Skinny Pop!
What do you call an ex eating Taco Bell?
Explosion.
What's the worst thing about eating a shaved pussy?
Putting the diaper back on.
What part of a vegetable can you not eat?
The wheelchair.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Yo mama so stupid, she ate the Apple phone you gave her.
What do bats like to eat?
Bloodsuckers! 🩸🍭😂
A girl's pussy is a muff, and when we have something against our mouths, they say our voice is muffled, so do I think the origin of the word "muffled" is talking while eating muff?
What type of cake can orphans not eat? Homemade.
What's black and eats Kitty?
Serval cancer.
When my friend eats a mint, I say, "Hey, is it mint to be sweet?"
Go on the quintillionaire morning routine now!
1. Wake up. 2. Take a shit. 3. Eat. 4. Get out of bed. 5. Have breakfast.
What kind of candy do astronauts eat in space?
Mars bars.
Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
They'll fall right through his hands.