Eating jokes
What do squats eat? Numbers.
What's the difference between broccoli and a booger?
Kids won't eat broccoli.
What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?
100 dead babies in a trash can.
What is worse than that?
There's a live one at the bottom.
What is worse than that?
It eats its way out.
What is worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
What's the difference between fruit and a freshly killed corpse?
I don't eat the fruit.
Why does my mum eat carrots?
bro i found disney- modern alice in wonerland
Why do the French eat snails?
They don’t like fast food!
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
Once I ate a table... it was food consuming.
Why did Jeffrey eat all the ice cream in one sitting?
To make room in the freezer for his special meat.
Emos are so predictable: sleep, eat, cut, repeat.
What do cannibals call an orphanage? All you can eat buffet.
Your mum is so fat, she eats every meal from KFC, Maccas, Hungry Jacks all at once!
What do orphans eat for breakfast?
Daddy-O's.
What do Africans eat for breakfast?
E-bola Cornflakes.
If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?
Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.
What do orphans and people eating oranges have in common? They both are eating balls.
You are so fat you tried to eat the word "edible."
What's the difference between a girl eating Taco Bell and doing sex a few times? Nothing. Something always comes out.
What do you do after you eat the softest pussy in the world?
Put the diapers back on.
How do you know when you are dating a cannibal?
You go to the beach, he offers to put suntan oil on you, and the brand name is Wesson.
You are having sex and he says he wants to eat your a$$ and you notice he is holding a knife and fork.
He invites you to his home to use the hot tub and it is heated by a wood fire.
You are having an argument and you say "bite me" and he starts to sharpen his teeth.