Knock knock. Who's there? Artichokes. Artichokes who? Artichokes when he eats too fast.
Eating Jokes
Fatty told Skinny, "Do you have any food? My stomach is empty and I haven't eaten."
Skinny replied to Fatty, "Well, doesn't seem like you need food, you ate the whole universe instead!"
One day, I'm going to Malta to a big hotel. In the morning, I go down to eat breakfast. I tell the waitress I want two pieces of toast. She brings me only one piece. I tell her I want a piece. She says, "Go to the toilet." I say, "You don't understand. I want a piece on my plate." She says, "You better not piss on your plate, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.
I don't need this shit!!
Later, I go to eat at the big restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife, but no fork. I tell her I wanted a fork. She tells me everyone wanna fuck. I say, "You don't understand, I want a fork on my table." She says, "You better not fuck on the table, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.
I don't need this shit!
So, I go back to my room in a hotel, and there are no sheets on the bed. I call the manager and tell him I want a sheet. He tells me, go to the toilet. I say, "You don't understand, I want a sheet on my bed." He says, "You better not shit on my bed, you son of a bitch."
I go to the checkout, and the man at the desk says, 'Peace on you.' I say, 'Piss on you too, you son of a bitch. I'm going back to Italia. Arrivederci!'
I don't need this shit!
Moral of the story, don't go to Australia with a Korean accent.
Why did the rape victim stop eating pears?
Because she was told that if you rearrange the letters "PEAR," it spells "rape."
Her: Eat my ass!
Me: Yes, chef!
What’s one food orphans can eat?
Homemade.
What do cannibals call a wheelchair user?
"Uber Eats."
What do girls and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.
Go on the quintillionaire morning routine now!
1. Wake up. 2. Take a shit. 3. Eat. 4. Get out of bed. 5. Have breakfast.
A monkey eats cheese. He was lactose intolerant.
My brother eats water from the pig factory at 1:00 a.m., and blames a deaf kid, so he ended up going to solitary.
Have you heard of Wendy's?
Yea, Wendy's nuts in you mouth.
Alex Stokes says, "Kat, I've seen you eat many foods!"
Bitch, I can make orange rhyme with banana. BORNANA.
Eating pork rinds, sword fightin' in pajamas at the crib playin' Fortnite with your grandma.
Everything is now so expensive in Africa that witches don’t serve food in dreams again. Am I lying? Okay, when last did you eat in your dreams?
What do orphans eat for breakfast?
Daddy-O's.
Why don't sharks eat n****rs? They think it's whale shit.
I want some cheeseburgers just to eat. I'm talkin' ketchup. My n***a mustard on that BEAT!
What does Aaron eat for breakfast? Food.
A girl's pussy is a muff, and when we have something against our mouths, they say our voice is muffled, so do I think the origin of the word "muffled" is talking while eating muff?
