Eating jokes
Why does Mario eat mushrooms?
Because he's a very fungi!
Q: Why did the boy not eat the banana?
A: He was scared the juice might come out.
A boy asked his dad for some money to buy an ice cream with, so he went to an ice cream van. Whilst he was in the queue, two boys asked him what flavor he was getting. He told them "strawberry." The two boys were shocked and beat him up. The ice cream man felt bad and gave him his strawberry ice cream for free.
When he got home, his dad also asked what flavor he bought. The boy said "strawberry." His dad then kicked him out of the house. The boy, confused, walked down the street and was stopped by the police, who were looking for a boy who had been eating strawberry ice cream. The boy said, "That's me," and the policeman arrested him.
A week later in court, the boy was on trial. The judge asked, "Can you tell me what were you doing on the fifth of May?" (the day he was arrested) The boy said, "I was eating ice cream." The judge decided he was innocent. On the way out, the judge asked him what the flavor was (he had forgotten to ask during the trial). Of course, he answered with "strawberry." The judge, horrified, realized he had given the wrong verdict and the boy should have been executed. Unfortunately, he couldn't change what had happened, so the boy walked out and crossed the road but was hit by a car and died.
The moral of the story is look left and right before crossing the road.
Joke: "7 8 9" (seven eight nine), why is 8 (eight) scared of 7 (seven)?
Answer: This is because; in "7 8 9", 8 is pronounced as (ate). So because seven ate nine, eight is scared that seven would eat eight also.
Why is Sonic so fat? He eats too many chili dogs.
Why doesn't China have a cricket team?
They always eat the bat.
What do you get if you do not eat? Dry.
What do you get if you eat sugar?
High.
In a proud, boastful voice, Gemma told the old Chinese woman who was babysitting her that onions were the only food that could make you cry. The woman nodded and said that was true enough.
They continued eating for a while. "This is really good!" the little girl exclaimed. "What's this meat?"
The old lady replied with: "Well, there was a brown dog in your yard that wouldn't stop yapping."
I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.
I think someone must've poached it.
What's the name of a cannibal's favorite all-you-can-eat buffet? Planned Parenthood!
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
I eat dick.
True Story of Little Red Riding Hood.
The big bad wolf told Red Riding Hood to strip. He looked at her pussy and said, "Now I will fuck you!"
Red pulled out a shotgun from under her coat and said, "Oh no you're not. You're not, you're going to eat me just like it says in the book!"
I eat kids.
What’s a cannibal's favorite takeaway shop?
The orphanage.
Why do fat cows eat fat cows? Because I wrote this in America.
What do you get when you throw a pile of dead babies into a fryer?
Kentucky Fried Children!
What's it called when you eat those same babies?
Finger Lickin' Good!
Why did the farmer eat a fork?
'Cause he's a dumbass.
What did 50 do when he was hungry?
58.