Eating jokes
What's the difference between a mother and a pigeon?
One doesn't eat their husband out.
I eat ass.
What's the worst thing about eating a shaved pussy?
Putting the diaper back on.
There once was a Mexican named Quan. He never talked about Dose. What happened to Dose?
Quan and Treis raped him. Once Quattro came out, they killed him. They were too poor to afford food, so they ended up eating Dose and Quattro.
Why is a sweet potato casserole so sweet? Because it's so sweet to eat!
When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,
just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!
Have you tried eating a clock?
It's time-consuming!
What is a cannibal's favorite food?
Crackers.
What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.
You’ll need a bib when you’re done eating my ribs.
I found Nemo.
He was tasty.
I was arrested for eating too much crack on accident. How?
My sister came into my room shoving her ass in my face.
Why do people eat bananas? Because it's a-peeling!
Why did 1 eat 2?
'Cause he was hungry.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Seven’s been worried about six even since he left Afghanistan. Every time 6 closes his eyes, he sees the war and hears the gunshots. He sees the blood, the killing, the death, and soldiers falling. When he looks at seven, he remembers when they were forced to eat their own flesh to not starve in those caves. He sees the war and the flashbacks will come back forever, burned into his soul and mind.
What type of jam can you not eat?
Traffic jam.
A fly is 6 inches above water, and a fish sees it and it leaps out and gets the fly. Then a bear grabs the fish and eats it. Then a hunter shot the bear, and a mouse saw some crackers and then leaped on the cracker and ate it. Then a cat runs down to get the mouse, trips, and falls into the water, and that's the story of how six inches can get a pussy wet.
What's better than a pile of dead babies?
One that's alive in the middle that has to eat its way out.
"Well," he says, "It's what mommy calls me sometimes."
The little girl screams, "Don't eat it! It's a fucking asshole."
The more people who like to eat Tide Pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁