Why did God give women legs?
1. To look at.
2. To wrap around your neck when you’re eating her out.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"
What's grosser than gross? A truckload of dead babies.
What's grosser than that? A live one at the bottom.
What's grosser than that? When he eats his way out.
Grosser than that? When he goes back for more.
Why is it annoying to eat by basketball players? Because they dribble all the time!
When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."
*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵
Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."
What is one thing humans do before they eat?
They beat their meat to make nuggets.
What can a duck eat for a snack? Saltine quackers!
You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.
What did the fork say to the cake when he said, "I hope you get eaten?"
Fork off!
What is a cannibals favorite drink? Coffee
Johnny, Johnny. Yes, Papa? Eating dick? Yes, Papa.
What if little Johnny was doing drugs?
"Johnny, Johnny?"
"Yes, Papa?"
"Eating sugar?"
"No, Papa..."
I know this is a really bad poem, but I'll do it anyway 'cause I have nothing else to do.
'Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone's dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No, it's all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it's all a dream! Why can't I have this? Why can't I have that? BUT NO! It's just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and et cetera. It goes on and on. But why wish for riches? You're already rich enough. If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that... OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE!
Like I said, it's really bad. :(
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9. So what was 10 scared of? Because he was in the middle of 9, 11.
What does a cannibal call people in water?
Sea food.
What does Mars like to eat?
A Mars bar!
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!
What's the similarity between dogs and poor people?
They both eat from trash.
Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.
Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.
Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
'Cause mommy never gave them some.
