Eating jokes
Q: Why couldn't the queer wist eating his hot dog?
A: Because it tasted like shit.
How about that airplane food? I eat it when I'm high.
Why was the astronaut washing her hands?
She was getting ready to eat launch.
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
What do you get when you are hungry? A dog to eat.
What time is it when you eat a Christmas tree?
Time to get a new Christmas tree! π
A man was sitting in the restaurant and ordered a whole buffet. He is visited by an oracle. Apollo says, "If you eat that buffet, everyone you love will die."
"Up yours," the man said, "What are they going to die of, famine?"
Moments later, there was an incident that took place in the restaurant. Everyone literally died. It turned out the restaurant had a B-. I said, "Is that really a thing groaning on the hospital?"
The doctor said, "Know that is your condition, you have hepatitis B-."
"What the FU***** SH**"
Apollo is sitting in Mount Olympus, dying also in laughter.
Vegans: Save the Earth.
Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!
My pal asked me why nobody wants to eat the spaghetti he makes in his restaurant.
Well, because it's impastable.
Q: Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?
A: To hide up cherry trees.
Q: What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
A: Giraffes eating cherries.
Subscribe to Cboystv, or I will eat you like Asians do to pets.
When my friend eats a mint, I say, "Hey, is it mint to be sweet?"
My name is Caleb, and I like boo and eat it.
My name is Justin. I like dick. Lit? Let me eat you out like?
I named my dog Chicken.
I love eating chicken.
Q. Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
A. Because they hate the taste of their stupid clown wigs, makeup, and retarded shoes.
Jack and Jill went up a hill so Jack could eat her candy. But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c*** because Jill's real name is Randy.
How are babies and watermelons similar?
They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides.
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?
The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Baby!"
"Baby who?"
"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"
"No thanks, I already ate."