Eating jokes
What can a duck eat for a snack? Saltine quackers!
You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.
What did the fork say to the cake when he said, "I hope you get eaten?"
Fork off!
What is a cannibal's favorite drink?
Coffee.
Johnny, Johnny. Yes, Papa? Eating dick? Yes, Papa.
What if little Johnny was doing drugs?
"Johnny, Johnny?"
"Yes, Papa?"
"Eating sugar?"
"No, Papa..."
I know this is a really bad poem, but I'll do it anyway 'cause I have nothing else to do.
'Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone's dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No, it's all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it's all a dream! Why can't I have this? Why can't I have that? BUT NO! It's just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and et cetera. It goes on and on. But why wish for riches? You're already rich enough. If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that... OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE!
Like I said, it's really bad. :(
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9. So what was 10 scared of? Because he was in the middle of 9, 11.
What does a cannibal call people in water?
Sea food.
What does Mars like to eat?
A Mars bar!
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!
What's the similarity between dogs and poor people?
They both eat from trash.
Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.
Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.
Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
'Cause mommy never gave them some.
This isn't a joke, but in some countries, children eat their shit for better digestion when constipated.
How did the cheetah greet other animals?
Cheetah: "Nice to eat you."
I love eating Hisoka's big, fat, juicy c*ck.
My mom was poor, so we had nothing to eat. I slept on the floor, but now I'm rich, rich, rich 😜
Why did the robot eat a lightbulb?
'Cause he was in need of a light snack!
A cocksucker is still a cocksucker if a cocksucker only sucks for moral, religious, or health reasons, and a vegetarian who doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons can still be a cocksucker, so how can a cocksucker be a vegetarian for moral, religious, or health reasons?