Drug jokes
What do you call a best friend that smokes weed?
A pothead. Just because he's your friend, you don't have to support his poor decisions. Jeez, what has America come to?
If you combine math and meth, you will become Einstein White.
A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.
What do you call a person with one arm, one leg, one eye, and one ear?
ONESY.
“Hey dad, how do you kill a star?” - Give them drugs.
Climb high, climb far,
Get high, get far.
Moon Knight is awesome
Why did the chicken cross the road?
'Cause he was on crack.
What’s the difference between Jane Doe and a roller coaster?
You can ride both on Ketamine, but only one will get you on the news.
How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take?
Enough to kill two and a half men.
Knock knock.
Who's there? It's the Grim Reaper.
Grim Reaper who?
The Grim Reaper who is about to come in your house, smoke some weed, drink some Grim Reaper liquor, and then get drunk.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? -- American teenage girls get stoned *before* they have sex.
What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!
Why did the researchers want all the shore birds high on marijuana? They wanted to leave no tern unstoned.
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...
"Just say NO to drugs!" Well, if I'm talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.
JACK smoked some shit in the casino bathroom.
Then fucked a slut, played some slots, took some shots, then shot a JOKER!
It's a sad story, because JACK killed himself, but he died with a smile.
Weed: *gets hit by his own power*
Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?
Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?
Q: Why did the fault line start acting crazy?
A: Because it was on crack.
What’s the last balloon George Floyd blew up? His heroin balloon.
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.