Drug jokes

“Wanna smoke, kids?” is an offer to do drugs.

“Wanna smoke kids?” is an offer to kill.

POV: You accidentally get H in your IV drip.

When a midget smokes weed, do they get high or medium?

Jack and Jill popped some pills to get a little tipsy.

Jack got a surprise and bloodshot eyes because Jill gave him a roofie.

What's an Indian's favorite drug?

Beans.

I wanna see Stephen Hawking on nitrous.

What do you call a religious drug addict?

A crystal methodist.

I overdosed on Viagra yesterday.

It was the hardest day of my life.

What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?

McBongald's.

A black lady goes inside the drug store on Eight Mile Road in the city of Detroit, Michigan, and asks the pharmacist, "I would like to buy a box of tampons."

And then the black lady is asked by the pharmacist, "Do you want to buy the box of mini pads, or do you want to buy the box of maxi pads?"

And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"

And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"

And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."

What’s the last balloon George Floyd blew up? His heroin balloon.

Wow, didn't know little Jhony jokes were so dark. Well, but what do you expect from a site with jokes about suicide, sex, and drugs? :-)

"Drugs?????" His eyes popped out. Well, I don't really know if there actually are-- and the exact ones... But there's so many kinds of jokes-- even chin jokes. :^))

And slice jokes!

What kind of "slices"?

Handy ones. ^_^

What do you call Canadian weed? Canadabis.

Sippin' on promethazine With lean, I fell in love.

I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup.

Teacher: How much is a gram?

Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.

I would like to tell you the name of a song I showed my friend who was on LSD. "I See a Dreamer."

Weed: *gets hit by his own power*

Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?

Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?

A black lady goes inside the drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you carry tampons?" Then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "Do you want the mini pads or the maxi pads?"

And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"

And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"

And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."

Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap.

He was high on my list of priorities.

Kurt Cobain didn't mean to kill himself. He was just so high he thought the shotgun was a bong.

His lyrics are so ironic but so true. "I'm not coming back". "I swear I don't have a gun."