Dont jokes
One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"
A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.
Women be like, "Don't say that about her genitals," then makes fun of men's genitals.
Women be like, "Equal rights, equal pay," then decide that they don't want to do labor intensive jobs.
Why can’t orphans watch Netflix?
Because they don't know what age rate they are...
Don't tell me I haven't got balls. I just happen to wear mine on my chest, and I can guarantee they're a lot bigger than yours!
What's the difference between a hooker and a burrito?
I don't eat burritos.
Don't worry, the forehead jokes were recommended just like your hairline.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.
Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
Three gay men enter a bar in Iran. They don't come out.
How many orphans does it take to repair a house? None, they don't have one.
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Some get it, and some don't.
Me: I will f**k ur mom.
Orphan: I don't have one.
Me: ......
If at first you don’t succeed... then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any!
Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage*
Why do orphans make the best girlfriends?
Because they don't need permission from their parents.
Why can't an orphan play football? Because they don't have a dad or mom.
Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.
The orphan: But why?
Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.
What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?
They both don't last a while.
You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...
Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.
Why can’t orphans go to daughter and dad dance night? They don’t have a dad to go with.