Dont jokes

Me: Help, I'm stuck in a trap.

Friend: What kind?

Me: It's called life. Yeah, I've been trying to get out of it for six years now, it just won't let me go.

Friend: That's not funny..

Me: Yeah? Nor is wanting to die, yet I'm still over here laughing every time I try to.

Friend: I'm calling your mom.

Me: She knows.

Friend: What's she doing to help, then?

Me: She's supposed to help?

Friend: Have you told your dad?

Me: I will when he comes back.

Friend: Where is he?

Me: I don't know, he's been gone for 15 years.

Friend: ....

Me: What?

Friend: Why?

Me: Why what?

Friend: Why would you joke like that?

Me: I was joking..

Friend: I know.

Me: Oh. I didn't know.

Friend:...

Me: Have a nice day, I'll see you tomorrow... Maybe...

It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.

I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.

Gwen: Hi sir, how are you?

Tj: Good... you?

Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date? It seems like you need one 😉!

Tj: 😏.

Gwen: Here, this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend!

Tj: Thanks but um, don't you think you should be um getting inside too?

Gwen: 🙁 No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁.

Tj: NO!!!!!!

1 day later.

Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩‍👧‍👦

As a son, I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him and she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny.

Then I told my friend’s girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out and wanted to confront me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happened. Then my mom said the same thing happened to me. I came home one day, I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job. I asked what’s going on. My friend told me, "Your mom is my new girlfriend," and my mom said, "This is the penis of my dreams."

Why don’t women wear mini skirts in the winter?

Because they’ll get chapped lips.

Why don’t midgets wear tampons?

Because they’ll trip over the string.

Don't commit suicide, that would make DJUNGELSKOG sad!

Why should you always wear rubber?

So you don’t leave DNA evidence.

I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.

Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?

Because good luck finding someone who’s always in the booth!

What's the difference between three dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't own a Ferrari.

Why don't gay Greek men in Greece perform anilingus on each other?

Because anilingus between two gay men is against the law in Greece.

I drank some dye before, but don't worry, I've only dyed a little inside.

Why don't ants get sick?

Because they have anty-bodies.

Both man and woman have balls, but they like to play with the ball of each other because a person always loves what they don't have. 😁

Sara's Mom was helping her prepare for her driver's test.

Mom: "Okay, any questions?"

Sara: "Yes. I actually don't know what "yield" means."

Mom: "Don't worry, Hon. No one does."

I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something :D

What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?

Domi-don't-knows...

What's the second worst thing to happen to orphans?

They can't have sex.

"Why?"

Because they don't have anyone to call mommy or daddy.

Women be like, "Equal rights, equal pay," then decide that they don't want to do labor intensive jobs.