Dont jokes

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.

Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

Don't worry, the forehead jokes were recommended just like your hairline.

Three gay men enter a bar in Iran. They don't come out.

How many orphans does it take to repair a house? None, they don't have one.

What do parents and dark humor have in common? Some get it, and some don't.

Me: I will f**k ur mom.

Orphan: I don't have one.

Me: ......

What's the difference between a hooker and a burrito?

I don't eat burritos.

I drank some dye before, but don't worry, I've only dyed a little inside.

What's the difference between three dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't own a Ferrari.

I am always high, welcome to bipolar disorder. LMAO. (Don't bother to like or comment, I just had to say this.)

Women be like, "Don't say that about her genitals," then makes fun of men's genitals.

Women be like, "Equal rights, equal pay," then decide that they don't want to do labor intensive jobs.

Why can’t orphans watch Netflix?

Because they don't know what age rate they are...

Yo mama so fat, that’s why people don’t want to marry her, except for fat guys.

Women be like don't tell me what to wear, proceeds to tell men what to wear.

Why do orphans make the best girlfriends?

Because they don't need permission from their parents.

What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?

They both don't last a while.

School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any!

Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage*

Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.

The orphan: But why?

Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.

Don't tell me I haven't got balls. I just happen to wear mine on my chest, and I can guarantee they're a lot bigger than yours!