Doesnt jokes
What's the difference between a gay and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
Why couldn’t the principal call the orphan's parents?
Because he doesn’t have any.
You know I would tell you a 9/11 joke, but it just doesn’t hit the spot.
Why doesn't Santa have kids? Because he only comes once a year.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last as long for fat people.
What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?
Domi-don't-knows...
What has teeth but doesn't use them to chew? The answer would be a comb or a piano, but technically, if you ripped someone's teeth out and hand them to them, they have teeth but can't chew with them.
Q: Why doesn’t Toledo have a professional football team?
A: Because then, Cincinnati would want one.
What do leaves and suicidal people have in common? Nothing, one falls from the tree and one doesn't.
A man walks into a bar with an alligator and a stick. He walks up to the bartender and offers to put on a show for the bar's patrons in exchange for a drink. The bartender agrees, so he pulls down his pants, sticks his dick in the alligator's mouth, and starts whacking it with the stick. After he's done and gets his drink, he asks if anyone else would like a go.
A lady gets up and says yes, she would like a go, asks that he doesn't hit her with the stick.
When you let the school shooter borrow your pen so he doesn't kill you.
Your hairline is so far back that not even God knows about it.
In order to get $355 million for his civil fraud case, Donald Trump desperately needed to fundraise. So, in every Republican Party event, he will serve the Patriotic Trump Dog! It consists of an 80-year-old sausage inside a 10-year-old cream bun, topped with Russian dressing.
Trump does have the best people, doesn't he?
Why doesn’t the orphan have any toys? Because his Lego figures ran away too.
She's so fat that when she steps onto a wood floor, the floorboard doesn't creak, it screams: "Goddamn!!!" before it snaps from the weight.
Why is prostitution illegal?
Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Yes, because a house doesn’t jump.
Cheer up! Old age doesn't last that long!
What’s the difference between Jane Doe and a train tunnel?
A train tunnel doesn’t get any wider when you rail it.
Chuck Norris: "Chuck Norris doesn't fight, he just allows you to lose."
Me: "How come did you lose Return of the Dragon?"