Doesnt jokes
A rich guy and a poor guy have their wedding anniversary on the same day. They meet each other at the shopping complex.
The poor guy asks the rich guy, "What'd you get for your wife today?"
The rich guy replies, "I got her a diamond ring and a Mercedes."
The poor guy asks, "Why did you get two gifts for her?"
The rich guy says, "If she doesn't like the diamond ring, then she can return it in her Mercedes."
The rich guy asks the poor guy, "What'd you get for your wife?"
The poor guy says, "I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo."
The rich guy asks, "Why did you get two gifts for her?"
The poor guy says, "If she doesn't like the slippers, then she can go f*** herself."
I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.
Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.
I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"
What's the difference between vitiligo and plastic surgery?
Vitiligo doesn't alter facial features.
Let's hope the new tower doesn't go plane watching like the old ones.
North Tower: "Hey, South Tower, we can talk later; I gotta catch a plane!"
The orphan tried to play baseball, but he couldn't get home because home doesn't exist for him.
What's the difference between a Chinese person and an old person?
One lasts long and another doesn't.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Because he doesn’t know where home is.
Zozo went to the store and walked out with nothing, why?
Zozo the hobo is a hobo, remember? He doesn’t have any money.
Why do orphans get in trouble at school?
Because the school doesn't have any parents to report to.
Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.
Luisa: The ship doesn't swerve, as it heard how big the iceberg is.
Captain of the Titanic: Wait, what did you say?
3 minutes later:
Why didn't I listen to the strong one?
What's something an orphan likes but doesn't have?
A family.
Today was the worst day ever. My ex got hit by a truck... On the plus side, my truck doesn't even have a dent.
Jasper doesn't like little girls and Bin Laden.
I made a website for orphans, unfortunately it doesn’t have a homepage.
Why does an orphan only have a Samsung? Because it doesn't have a home button!
Why doesn't the orphan date the girl?
Because she is a home-y.
An alien goes to Area 51, but I wonder why he doesn't go to your house?
Why can't a little girl fly? She doesn't have the proper motivation.