Doesnt jokes
Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That’s not funny, you know Billy doesn’t have any arms and legs.”
Boys: “I know, we need a third base.”
Stephen Hawking doesn’t have a dick; he has a microchip.
What’s the difference between video games and my dad?
My dad doesn’t beat me.
An orphan walks on a path asking for his mum. Soon he remembers he doesn't have a mum.
(Also, I had sex with ur mum. She was screaming "daddy~")
A man walks into a bar with an alligator and a stick. He walks up to the bartender and offers to put on a show for the bar's patrons in exchange for a drink. The bartender agrees, so he pulls down his pants, sticks his dick in the alligator's mouth, and starts whacking it with the stick. After he's done and gets his drink, he asks if anyone else would like a go.
A lady gets up and says yes, she would like a go, asks that he doesn't hit her with the stick.
Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?
A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.
What do you get when a cow doesn't give any more milk?
A milk dud 😂
If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry.
You have the rest of your life to figure it out.
Me: That’s a good WAVE.
Friend: I SEA it.
Wave: Doesn't break for us to surf on.
Me: I was SHORE it would be good.
Friend: I SEA what you did there.
Chuck Norris doesn't play video games. Video games play Chuck Norris.
Yo, Dad is so skinny, he doesn't work out enough.
Why doesn't the pirate go to the strip club?
Because he has ALL of the booty!
Why do heterosexual men and heterosexual women believe that bisexual men don't exist because male bisexuality doesn't exist? Because it doesn't cycle 🚲.
What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? He doesn't walkie or talkie.
Is Google male or female?
Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a fruit joke.
What did Michael say to the boy in his room at sleepovers?
"You are not alone."
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn't toot when you put meat in it.
You know I would tell you a 9/11 joke, but it just doesn’t hit the spot.
What's the difference between a baby and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when I put my meat in it.
A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange."
So I replied, "No, it doesn't."
A woman buys a house, but she doesn't know what to name the house, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Hairy butt," so she named the house Hairy Butt.
The next month she had a baby, but she didn't know what to name him, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Crack," so she named the baby Crack.
After a year or two she lost him, so she called the police and said, "Help! I looked all over my hairy butt, but I couldn't find my little crack."