Doesnt jokes
What do you call a mouse that doesn't like being known about?
Anonymouse.
Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"
Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"
Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."
What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?
My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.
What's the difference between your mom and a laundromat washer?
The washer doesn't take loads for free.
I made a website for orphans.
It doesn't have a home page.
I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.
What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...
What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))
KFC doesn't mean Kentucky Fried Chicken, it means "Kill Fat Children."
What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
What do you call a stand-up comedian if the comedian doesn’t have legs?
Why doesn’t Joe Biden visit children with cancer in hospitals?
Because he can’t sniff their hair.
How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door?
She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.
Q: What is it called when a hoe is getting ready for her party but doesn't know what to wear but is thinking about it? A: A thotprosses
Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything, and Person #2 orders a chili.
Person #1: “Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?”
Person #2: “No, you can have it.”
Person #1: “Ok, thanks...”
Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.
Person #2: “That’s about as far as I got too!”
North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.
Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."
The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."
Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."
Little Johnny was walking down an alley and saw a lamp. After he rubbed it, a genie came out and said, "You have 10 seconds to have one wish." Little Johnny says he wants to pee alcohol. The genie grants his wish. He tells his family, and his sister doesn't believe it. After having a drink, she says, "We should have this every night!" Little Johnny gets two cups every night, one for him and his sister. He does the same thing for four nights. Eventually, he ran out of cups and has one left. He gives it to himself, and his sister asks, "Where's my cup?" Little Johnny replied, "You're drinking out of the bottle tonight."
Roses are red, violets are blue, this poem doesn’t make sense, washing machine.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's kid have ears? She gave it its first haircut!
What is similar between sex and fishing?
It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.
I was asking people who knew Trump if he would win a second term. Stormy said, "No way, he doesn't have two in him!"