Doesnt jokes
Stephen Hawking doesn't go for a stroll. He goes for a roll.
Why can't an orphan be friends with Dom Toretto?
Dom doesn't have friends; he has "family."
Q: What is the opposite of 'Dominos'?
A: Domi doesn't know!
What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby?
The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.
The bell rings, and Ana was about to leave, but the teacher said, "The bell doesn't dismiss you, I do."
The next day, Ana was late, and the teacher asked, "Why are you late?" Ana replied with, "The bell doesn't tell me when I should arrive, I do."
Willy Wonka meme
Bully 1 to Bully 2: You're ugly.
Bully 2: Look in a mirror.
Bully 1: Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 and 976 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone, and money falls out.
Why do orphans die young?
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.
The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"
Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."
The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"
Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."
According to a recent poll, your mother said, "I like the guy who saw the guy who doesn't have a brain!"
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Your Boyfriend.
Your Boyfriend who?
Your Boyfriend who doesn’t love you! Bye!
What happens when animals do a squat?
It doesn't become pretty...
Why doesn't Laila in UHS need an insult?
Have a look at her face!
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
He doesn't want to be spotted.
Doesn't having depersonalization mean that you're like the animatronics off of FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's?
(If you don't know what depersonalization is, look it up.)
Why doesn't the U.S. Government play Clash of Clans?
Because they lost two towers already.
What's bigger than Kurt Cobain's head?
What do you mean? He doesn't have one.
So I stayed at home for Halloween when I suddenly hear a knock on my door. I open and I see Penandes! I was confused and asked him why he does not wear a costume, and he said he doesn't need to.
Then I realized that he's a ghost and gave him 3 candies. Enjoy the candies Pruno!
Me: *gives her 5 dollars* Climb that flag pole. Cute female: *takes the money and goes up the flag pole* Is this good? Me: Hell yeah, that's a nice view.
*Next day* Here's 10 dollars if you do it again. *She goes up there* Me: How's the view? *She goes home and her mom sees the money* Her mom: Where you getting this money? Her daughter: I climbed a flagpole. Her mom: You know he just wants you to see your panties, right? *She goes back and does it again but doesn't wear panties* Me: Holy shit ;-; Her mom: Did you do it again? Her daughter: Don't worry, Mom, he didn't get to see my panties. Her mom:...
Why is it that the Libertarian Party never had a formal president of the United States that ran as a Libertarian that had a presidential library?
Because the Libertarian Party is the party of principle. The Libertarian Party was founded in 1971 and the Libertarian Party has not won a presidential election since 1972, because the Libertarian Party doesn't believe in using force to achieve political and social goals.