DOE jokes
What does a kite and a criminal have in common?
They both get high.
She does not wanna fuck you, and she don’t need you clapping them cheeks.
What goes up and down and does not move?
Stairs.
What does a car have when it's very itchy?
A road rash.
Student: Why does everyone hate me?
Another student: Because U got the A last night.
Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle.
Does your cat scratch you?
Yeah, I need [to] give him payback, but now he won't respond.
What does Santa say to 3 girls in a row?
HO HO HO
Q: A guy walks into a bar, what does he say?
A: Ow!
What does Michael Jackson like?
Teabags.
What does an emo kid say to his best friend?
"Let's hang out."
What does William say when he hurts his toe?
"I wanna scream and shout and let it all out."
What does Sonic wear when he goes to the beach? A speedo.
What does Amy Rose like? Blue balls.
One day a teacher says: "What does a pig give us?"
A student says: "Bacon!"
The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a chicken give us?"
A student says: "Eggs!"
The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a fat cow give us?"
A student says: "Homework!"
The whole class laughs.
I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?!”
I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet!”, and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person, he didn't hear the joke.
Why is jelly laughing a lot?
Because his friend goes nuts!
Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
Does money grow on trees? No.
What is money made of? Paper.
What is paper made out of? Trees!
What does a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.