DOE jokes
If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?
What do Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common?
They both walk(ed) over the Twin Towers.
What does a nosy pepper do? Gets JALAPEÑO BUSINESS!
How many victims does Shaw have?
We don’t know yet. It’s four years and counting.
How on God's green earth does my boyfriend have a phone?
JK WE NEED TO TALK ILL TYPE THE SECRET CODE (YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.) GREEN PUSSY CAT LIKES BANNANS.
What does a kite and a criminal have in common?
They both get high.
What does the chicken say when he didn't understand something?
"What hap-HENd?"
What does an orphan do on school parents' day? Nothing.
Why does new pavement smell like butt?
In other words you can also call it asphalt.
Ass-phalt.
Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle.
At what point does a joke become a dad joke?
When it disappears and never returns home.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedophile have in common?
"Are you ready kids?"
Why does the Avon lady walk funny?
Because her lipstick!
How many children does Explain Bear have?
How many belly rolls does Explain Bear have?
Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.
What does William say when he hurts his toe?
"I wanna scream and shout and let it all out."
So I stayed at home for Halloween when I suddenly hear a knock on my door. I open and I see Penandes! I was confused and asked him why he does not wear a costume, and he said he doesn't need to.
Then I realized that he's a ghost and gave him 3 candies. Enjoy the candies Pruno!
Stop with the emojis. They kinda just make the joke cringy. For example: How many ppl 🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷 does it take to have 🥒🍑🍑🍑🍑🍑???? Well, it takes at least 1 🤷 and 1 👰 and they make a perfect ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤. See how cringy it is. I mean sure, it's a dumb example, but still, just at least less emojis.
Me: *gives her 5 dollars* Climb that flag pole. Cute female: *takes the money and goes up the flag pole* Is this good? Me: Hell yeah, that's a nice view.
*Next day* Here's 10 dollars if you do it again. *She goes up there* Me: How's the view? *She goes home and her mom sees the money* Her mom: Where you getting this money? Her daughter: I climbed a flagpole. Her mom: You know he just wants you to see your panties, right? *She goes back and does it again but doesn't wear panties* Me: Holy shit ;-; Her mom: Did you do it again? Her daughter: Don't worry, Mom, he didn't get to see my panties. Her mom:...